There’s A New Water Bottle Flipper In Town, And He Just Upped The Ante A BILLION Fold

About a week and a half ago, the collective internet lost its goddamn mind over an epic water bottle flipping performance at a high school talent show. Admittedly, the showmanship made it a 10/10. Absolutely untouchable.

That was until this happened…

JAMES RIVER BLAZE, STAND UP!!!

There’s a new bottle flipping sheriff in town, and YES, he legitimately just landed that bottle on its top. Nobody on earth thought it could be done. “Defies the laws of physics,” they said! Well you know what, maybe the laws of physics just got rewritten. Maybe the earth was passing through some cosmic disturbance at the very moment this amazing feat of sport occurred. Like in the movie Frequency, only it was water bottle flipping and not hunting down a serial killer by communicating with your younger self via a short-wave radio. You get the picture.

Now, I know the reaction wasn’t nearly as raucous as the talent show was, but it’s pretty clear everyone there could not believe what they witnessed. I can only think what kind of a tragedy it would’ve been if this actually occurred and wasn’t caught on video. That’d be like humanity collectively losing the Super Bowl by one point on a last second Hail Mary.

But thank God this was caught on film. This was the equivalent of Tony Hawk landing the first 900° for sport of water bottle flipping. If that talent show bottle flip was a 10/10, than this was a 1,000,000,000/10. No other way to put it.

Players are the same, but the game has changed. Try to keep up, people.

[Twitter]


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