Spotify IPO; Elon Musk Sleeping At Tesla Factory; New Tariffs Announced

The Water Coolest

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Estimated Read Time: 3 minutes and 29 seconds



It’s the sound of Spotify’s long-awaited IPO. The streaming service went public on Tuesday with shares closing at $149.01. That’s 13% higher than the reference point set by the NYSE. Not too shabby for a first day at the office. 

A valuation of $26.6B places Spotify among the top ten tech IPOs of all time, just behind Google. The Swedish streamers took an unorthodox approach by going public with a direct listing. This type of public offering allows the business, investors, and employees to sell shares directly to the public.

As a whole, tech stocks have taken a hit due in large part to Comrade Zuckerberg, and broader data privacy concerns. The good news? Spotify currently has 71M subscribers, compared to its closest rival, Apple Music’s, 36M.

Water Cooler Talking Point: “I’d say being mentioned in the same breath as Google is a pretty good sign for Spotify. But … is it really a special event if there isn’t a custom playlist for it?”



OSHA isn’t going to like this: Elon Musk is apparently sleeping on Tesla’s assembly line floor in some half-assed attempt to “rally the troops” … again. Stick to poorly timed April Fool’s jokes, Elon. The brazen, and slightly dangerous, move comes as investors voice their concern about Tesla Model 3 production.

Despite asking for “volunteers” to boost production Tesla was only able to manufacture 2,020 Telsa Model 3’s in the past 7 days. That is well below the 2,500 promised by Musk and Co. And Tesla’s overzealous target of 5,000 Model 3’s per week by the second half of ’18 seems like a pipe dream.

Employees of the nefarious-sounding “Gigafactory” are citing flawed parts and costly reworks as reasons for the delays. Musk has since taken control of production from Head of Engineering Doug Field.

Water Cooler Talking Point: “Economies of scale. Ever heard of it? I’m no Six Sigma Black Belt but I do know that one man sleeping on the floor of a factory isn’t going to produce more Telsas. Rallying the troops to save the factory only happens in movies, Elon. The only fix here is more CapEx.”



You get a tariff. And you get a tariff. Everybody gets a tariff. The US released a laundry list of goods from Ch-eye-na that will be subject to import taxes, ranging from machinery to tech goods. The 25% tariff will apply to roughly $50B worth of goods exported by the largest holder of US debt, including …

  • Rocket launchers
  • Hearing aids
  • Fishing vessels

China has already signaled that they will retaliate with a list of their own. Initial reports suggest that they will impose tariffs on US exports of major agricultural products.

According to the White House, the barrier to entry on 1.3k+ Chinese goods is a punishment for our Asian frenemies stealing US trade secrets.

Water Cooler Talking Point: “Nothing says “don’t mess with us” quite like putting human blood exporters out of business in China.”







What Mr. Excel doesn’t want you to know: Perfecting Excel macros is a rite of passage that separates the Associates from the Analysts.

How AJ is fending off our robot overlords: What do we do when technology has taken over our lives and ruined our productivity? Turn to technology, of course.

Why Nick wishes his Instagram model career took off: The founder of @dog_rates on Twitter is making six figures a year rating good boys.

What Tyler pretends he read when colleagues are around: Let’s be honest, Dale Carnegie’s ‘How to Make Friends and Influence People’ reads like ‘Basic Human Interaction for Dummies.’


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