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THE HEADLINES
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UN-HINGED
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Remember fighting with your parents when you were an unruly teen? If so, you can relate to angsty current and former Tinder employees who are suing the Match Group and its parent company, IAC.
The $2B lawsuit claims that IAC and Match Group manufactured a screwjob of epic proportions that involved misrepresenting financial information to undermine Tinder’s valuation and unlawfully strip away stock options from the matchmaking app’s employees. Not cool, bro.
The lawsuit also claims that IAC named Greg Blatt as interim CEO of Tinder in December 2016 to control (read: tank) Tinder’s valuation as employees stock options were set to be valued during that time.
Much of this sounds like the same sh*t, different day, IAC has quite the reputation for “conveniently overlooking” contractual obligations and acting above the law. Shady sh*t, man.
Water Cooler Talking Point: “This Greg Blatt character is also being sued for sexually harassing and groping Tinder’s VP of Marketing, Rosette Pambakian, at a holiday party. It’s probably about time HR implements background checks.'”
KOBE-COLA
Coca-Cola is buying a minority stake in a Kobe Bryant backed sports drink, BodyArmor, making Coke the brand’s second-largest shareholder. The deal aims to help Coca-Cola compete with Pepsi-owned Gatorade in the $20B sports drink market, and diversify their beverage portfolio.
Despite laying claim to Gatorade’s much less athletic cousin, Powerade, Coca-Cola has struggled in the sports drink category. Powerade ranks 4th with a 7% market share, behind Coke, Monster, and Red Bull. Because apparently Flugtag is considered a “sport.”
Terms of the deal will depend on sales and other performance measures, but the official sports drink of Black Mamba is expected to hit $400M in revenue in 2018. Estimates peg BodyArmor’s value at anywhere between $1B and $2B.
Water Cooler Talking Point: “Healthy drinks are nice, but I miss the glory days. Vitamin Water ain’t got sh*t on Jolt Cola.”
IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE?
Alphabet is sinking $375M into Oscar Health, the Josh Kushner founded, tech-first, health insurance company.
Josh, brother of the polarizing Jared Kushner, founded Oscar to close gaps in coverage created by the Affordable Care Act back in 2013. The company boasts 240K members currently, with plans to expand into Medicare in the coming year.
To date, Oscar has raised over $900M and surpassed a $3B valuation.
Water Cooler Talking Point: “Kudos to Oscar for expanding into Medicare coverage, but even Google will struggle to find a way to reach my grandmother who doesn’t have wi-fi and hasn’t open a text on purpose since 2008.”
IN OTHER NEWS
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- Here is a list of things that would have been easier for Kroger to do than launch an e-commerce shop in China: 1) Secure funding for Tesla to go private 2) Build 5k Model 3’s in a week 3) Explain why Azealia Banks spent a weekend at Elon Musk’s house. Kroger, who thus far has only dabbled in domestic brick-and-mortar sales plans to launch an e-commerce storefront on Alibaba’s Tmall … in China. Shares were up 2.3% on the news, proving once and for all that the human race is full of morons.
- Never forget, Lloyd. Just months before he heads to Del Boca Vista, Lloyd Blankfein was dealt a friendly reminder of his past indiscretions. A group of Goldman Sachs’ shareholders has won the right to collectively (aka class action) sue the institution for $13B stemming from alleged misdeeds while packaging CDOs during the financial crisis. The suit claims Goldman failed to disclose certain conflicts of interest.
- Airbnb will take over a 328-unit building in Nashville that it plans to convert to an Airbnb branded living complex with both short-term and long-term rentals. The home-sharing platform is planning 14 such properties in conjunction with Niido by 2020.
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