I’ve never been bitten in the dong by a turtle, but I have been bitten by a turtle before and I can say that it was probably the most painful bite I’ve ever experienced from any animal. Growing up, there was a creek behind my parent’s house where me and friends from the neighborhood would go catch turtles and snakes and whatnot, and I vividly recall the time I took a bite from one of the turtles and thinking that I was about to lose one of my fingers. A turtle’s beak can be sharp as shit, so just keep that in mind when you’re watching this clip of a man who got bitten in the dick by a turtle, a turtle who then refuses to let go of his dick:
According to reports, the turtle attached to this man’s penis is a Chinese Soft Shell Turtle, which is actually a vague description because I imagine there are tens if not hundreds of different types of Chinese soft shell turtles…
At what point do you just find someone with a gun and ask them to shoot the turtle? Or get a machete and chop that turtle’s head off right at the neck? You can’t go through the rest of your day with a turtle attached to your dick, just chop that turtle in half and be done with it!