Prematurely buying a girl a drink at the bar is the number two killer of hookups, behind telling said woman that you are a registered sex offender. The only thing you achieve by funding a girl’s night without knowing her last name is letting her know you’re thirstier than a dog in heat. And once you show your cards too early, you lose your power, your mystique, and once she knows she can have you, you run the risk of jerking off into her bar napkin later that night. Take it from me, the 29-year-old single dude whose dick is dustier than Michael Cera’s bowflex machine.
But if you’re going to go down the road of buying drinks for a prospective hookup, then you cannot go in reverse. Under any circumstances. You made your bed, now you have to sleep in it. Alone.
And that’s the mistake this Alabama dude named Kris made after buying Emily a $5 drink at a bar in downtown Tuscaloosa and demanding the money back after he witnessed her leave with another guy. The second mistake he made was taking a picture with her so she could eventually blast him on social media so his antics would go viral.
Emily posted the below story on the Alabama Student Ticket Exchange Facebook page, where things spiraled from there.
Seems like sour grapes, no? Let bygones be bygones bruh. But wait, we’ve yet to hear Kris’ side of the story.
This certainly stirred up the comment section on Facebook, which eagerly awaited for Emily’s rebuttal on Kris’ accusations of her being a two-timer.
Emily wrote the following, as an edit to her original post.
That seems totally illogical and I’m in full belief that the second Emily breaks up with her boyfriend, she’s going to hop on her ‘friends’ faster than you can say ‘4 piece nugget and a Dr. Pepper.’
I don’t know how getting a receipt from Wendy’s gets you off the hook from fucking the guy you were holding hands with. But what I do know if that Emily is psycho enough to call someone out for acting inappropriately after she dogged her boyfriend. I know this because only psychopaths keep a five dollar fast food receipt. Those kind of people can’t be reasoned with.
Moral of the story: there are no winners. This was a murder-suicide. Kris is a cheap, petty fuck and Emily possibly banged her ‘friend’ while farting from a crispy chicken sandwich.
[h/t Total Frat Move]