I’ve only lived through one earthquake in my life that I can recall and it was so weak I really had no idea what was happening. It was early on a Sunday morning and I was hungover from Saturday night. I remember waking up and thinking there was some sort of bulldozer driving by the house because of the low rumbling and how it was weird there was construction on a Sunday morning but I immediately went back to sleep. Only later did I find out it was an earthquake.
This is pretty indicative of life on the East Coast where earthquakes aren’t very common and occur much less frequently than on the West Coast. I get why someone would want an earthquake-proof bed if they were living in an apartment building that could topple in the event of an earthquake, but I also get why people are roasting the absolute shit out of this bed’s design.
The bed is designed to become a protective cage in the event of an earthquake but everyone seems to be questioning how this bed knows it’s an earthquake and not just rowdy sex. Here’s the bed:
This earthquake-proof bed may look scary but it can save your life 🏚😱 pic.twitter.com/T1XvBJ1ZvP
— Yahoo (@Yahoo) February 4, 2019
I’ve been reading through the responses for so long and they keep getting better. Everyone has something to say about this bed:
So, what if you’re smashing aggressively and the beds shaking? Will it know it’s not a quake? Because, if this folds you up mid-stroke……bruh.
— Me (@KeithFromNY39) February 5, 2019
Or when you have any limb hanging off the side of the bed and get a free compound fracture or amputation right before being stuffed into your very difficult to get out of coffin.
— Bradley (@BradleyJacobso9) February 6, 2019
This is a pretty reasonable question and one that seems like it could become a major problem for this manufacturer.
How does it know the difference between an earthquake and just the building rattling due to blasting from construction in the area?
— Night Shift (@AquamarineSteph) February 4, 2019
This seems like something 99.99% of people would do. Pack some snacks and eat them drunk.
I’m get down there and realize I ate my earthquake snacks and water months ago, cause that one time I was too lazy to go to the store and now I’m starving 😫
— Serena💋 (@Makeup_Serena) February 5, 2019
Aaaaand you breathe how? AAAAAND how do you get dug out from under a multi-storey building… IF you survive death by claustrophobia, panic or fear? It's a nahhh for me! cc @WanjiraL
— Waithira M. Protano (@In2TheSunshine2) February 4, 2019
cool of them to leave some space for fire to get in.
— noooio (@_justinparent) February 5, 2019
By the looks of it, this is death.
— Leandro (@lifelivedfreelx) February 5, 2019
It does seem like there are interesting parallels to how the ancient Egyptians would be buried with all of their most precious artifacts.
I wanna be like the Egyptians. Bury me with a case of Evian, a family sized bag of Doritos, and my toy poodle. We going to the afterlife orange, hydrated, and in style.
— Madame Curious (@msanthropomorph) February 5, 2019
It’ll save on burial costs I guess
— Dangubiti (@dangubiti) February 5, 2019
https://twitter.com/daniellegold_/status/1092702141699874816
What if you on the top floor of that multi floor building they show collapsing? You gonna survive being dropped multiple stories in a box? Shit, you got a better chance tryna run for it
— Jacquis (@jacquisneal) February 5, 2019
This is the one that really hit me in the feels. You’re stuck in this coffin box, waiting days for rescue workers to get through the rubble, and you’re thinking about how your dog wasn’t on the bed and is now trapped somewhere.
Me when I realize my dog wasn't in the bed. pic.twitter.com/uBhf3N91B5
— Bucket (@Bucket_WFTFan) February 5, 2019
I can’t really envision a world where I’d ever want one of these but I can certainly see how people who are scared of the planet would buy this if they’re living in California. If you spend your entire life in fear of earthquakes this could definitely provide some peace of mind at night. But it does seem like a made-to-order coffin, doesn’t it?
This bed’s apparently been around for a few years now, or at least this video recently resurfaced by Yahoo! has. It isn’t too surprising that this bed hasn’t taken the industry by storm yet.