How To Eat Marijuana Edibles For The First Time Without Losing Your Damn Mind
There is absolutely no doubt in our minds that a marijuana edible is going to come into your possession at some point this summer.
Weed is now legal in some form or fashion in more than half the United States, which has not only served to make a variety of cannabis products available in those areas but it has also improved the black market in places where prohibition is still the law of the land.
So, no matter where you are in the country these days – it could be a festival or just a casual encounter at a friend’s house — there always seems to be someone out there with the hook-up on THC-infused candies, baked items and, if you’re really lucky, beverages.
But there is something you ought to know about cannabis edibles before just tearing into them like a wild animal.
They are potent as shit and will put you flat on your backside if you don’t know what you’re doing.
They may also summon some pre-menstrual period demon buried in the darkest depths of your soul and turn you into an overly emotional 14-year-old girl right in front of God and everybody.
And that’s never a good look for a dude, we don’t care who you are.
Even if you are a somewhat dedicated stoner who smokes a lot of weed throughout the day, you’ve got to understand that new heights of highness are to be had through the consumption of cannabis edibles.
These little boogers are a completely different beast altogether. This is mostly because there is a tremendous amount of confusion over the proper dosage.
It’s not like alcohol where, because this ain’t your first rodeo, you know the feeling you’re going to get after six beers, or how much vodka you can knock back before you start puking in the weeds.
Unless they have learned through trial and error, most people do not have a clue how to eat cannabis edibles without getting too fucking high.
And while we are the first to admit that such a distortion of reality can be a lot of fun, there is a line that can be crossed with edibles where the good times just sort of evaporate, leaving behind the fragile shell of a man who has abandoned all hope.
So in the interest of keeping you guys safe and entirely in control this summer season and beyond, we have designed a basic cannabis edibles dosage guide to provide you with an idea of how much to consume depending on the headspace you are interested in finding during your journey.
Wait For It…
The thing about marijuana edibles is they can take a while to kick in.
Unlike smoking the stuff, which hits the head almost instantaneously, THC-infused edible products need an hour or more before they are ready to party.
This throws a lot of people off.
Some are like, “these edibles aren’t worth a good goddamn,” so they eat more in hopes of finding the buzz that they have grown accustomed to through smoking.
About an hour later, however, they are curled up in the fetal position underneath the coffee table, begging for someone in the house, anyone at all, to call 9-1-1.
So the first lesson when it comes to eating edible weed is to have patience.
The next is that 100mg of THC – the typical amount found in most of the edible products found in dispensaries – is a savage amount of THC, capable of bringing on some hardcore, nightmarish shit for someone who isn’t quite ready for that kind of beating.
You’re not going to die or anything from taking this much – there haven’t been any reports of weed-related fatalities in the history of getting stoned – but that is not to say that you will not be filled with terror and fear.
So if you start feeling froggy and decide to invoke a little bit of that dipshit courage and eat the whole 100mg edible at once, clear your fucking schedule, Jack!
Depending on your tolerance, you could be high for days.
The recommended individual dose is around 10mg.
In legal states, an adult 21 and over can walk into a weed store and buy a marijuana-infused chocolate bar, a package of gummies or any number of other products.
These typically come with 100mg of THC per package with the understanding that they are intended to be broken up into 10mg sections.
But even this can be a little too much for some people.
So, if you’ve never done edibles before and maybe only smoke weed on occasion, it is best to take only somewhere between 3-5mg and wait 60 minutes to gauge the effects.
If you’re in a good spot at that point, now you know where you stand and can manage your high without making a total ass out of yourself.
For the more experienced user that, for one reason or another is reading this article in hopes for some guidance on dosage, 6-10mg will give you a nice buzz without going overboard.
If overboard is what you are looking for, try eating 25-30mg at once and see how that grabs you.
You can always eat more later.
If someone in your crew does end up taking too much THC and becomes desperate for a trapdoor out of the sheer panic that this sort of buzz can produce, they might find some relief through CBD products.
We don’t make it a habit of advising people to take prescription drugs, but even benzodiazepines, which are more commonly known by brand names like Valium, Xanax, and Klonopin, can help calm down the overly stoned.
Just be damn sure to keep ragging on them the entire time. Because they deserve it for trying to push limits, they could not handle.
But don’t let them convince you to call 911. There is nothing that EMTs can do in this situation other than administering a sedative.
And if you happen to be in a prohibition state, someone could even end up going to jail.
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