Flight attendants have a difficult duty — like, you know, keeping hundreds of people safe while being 30,000 feet above the ground. And, as I wrote the other day, to become a certified flight attendant takes a helluva lot more work than many of us would first think, with Delta Airlines flight attendants going through a training program that’s harder to get into than Harvard.
With all that said, once they’ve reached the level of becoming a flight attendant, the last thing they want to deal with is a bunch of people saying dumbass stuff. Look, we’ve all done it before, trying to (not-so-slyly) get away with sneaking up to get to the bathroom while the fasten seatbelt sign is on, or trying to stuff a bag that’s clearly too big for the overhead space in there. But, sh*t, that’s just stuff that really pisses flight attendants off.
What are some of the other things that flight attendants can’t stand? Our good friends over at the New York Post talked to a few to get the answer. So, the next time you fly, make sure you never, under any circumstance, mutter these words — unless you want to be put on the sh*t list.
“Can I give you this dirty diaper?”
Flight attendants might pass out drinks and clean up after you, but that’s just the easy side of their job. When considering all they need to do during a flight, their jobs are really important, so they shouldn’t be looked at as a babysitter.
Said one flight attendant the New York Post talked to:
“There should be no excuse for you not to throw it away yourself. It’s rude to think we should handle your personal garbage,” says Teshara. “We walk through the cabin every 15 or 20 minutes with a trash bag. Properly dispose of it then.”
Yes, that means clean up after yourself. If you’re old enough to be a parent, you’re old enough to dispose of a poopy diaper.
“Can you watch my baby?”
Along those same lines, never ask a flight attendant if they can watch your baby. You may scoff at the fact someone would actually ask this to a total stranger, but, apparently, it happens more than you think.
Per the New York Post piece:
“I have an entire plane filled with people to take care of, so it’s annoying when someone thinks I’m their personal attendant. It’s also not in my job description.”
You may be doing something like readjusting the stuff beneath your seat, but don’t hand that baby to a flight attendant.
“I can make it fit.”
As mentioned above, I guarantee you we’ve all either said this before or tried to do it. Problem is, airlines have guidelines for the size of overhead luggage for a reason, so it’s not smart to even try and squeeze in up there.
Said one flight attendant interviewed by the New York Post, “Saying ‘it fits’ despite all evidence to the contrary is a direct challenge to us. We know better than anyone what will or will not fit, but people still refuse to comply.”
Just pay the extra cash to check it, bro.
“They let me do it on the last flight.”
By nature, we all want to break rules — and airplane passengers are some of the guiltiest people around. From unbuckling their seatbelt when the fasten seatbelt light’s on, to using your cell phone after the cabin door is closed and locked to a bunch of other things, flight attendants aren’t personally attacking you by holding you to aviation regulations.
Bottom line: just because other flight attendants let you do something doesn’t mean it was OK, so don’t make it a norm or get pissed off if another one tells you you can’t do something.
“I have a bomb.”
If you actually say this, you deserve every- and anything that’s coming your way. Any phrase like this that can alert a flight attendant that something serious might happen will cause you to get booted from the airplane. Chances are you’ve had way too many free cocktails, so go easy on that little shot-sized liquor.
And that’s only five of the things flight attendants can’t stand hearing from passengers. For the entire list, make sure to head on over to New York Post‘s website. Trust me, all of these will help make your next trip more of a success.