As a rule of thumb in this all-too-short life of ours, I try not to wish ill-will upon people. Nobody needs that sort of negative energy in your life, particularly after the year we’ve just lived through. That said, though, I’d be lying to you if I didn’t admit that I’m praying to both the old gods and the new for that the Avatar sequels will be colossal flops. Why? Because I fucking hate Avatar, that’s why.
This June, I’ll be celebrating two years here at BroBible (and what a ride it’s been, I love y’all), and in those 24 months, I’ve written around 10 articles about Avatar and its sequels, looking to undercut James Cameron’s Dances With Wolves In Space at every turn. Here are just *some* of my many hit pieces throughout the years, each viler than the last:
At this stage, my rebellion against Avatar isn’t even a bit, but rather, a way of life. The line has been drawn in the Pandoran sand — you’re either with Avatar or against it, so choose wisely. And if you still find yourself on the fence, perhaps this story of James Cameron threatening to fire writers for trying to do the very thing they were *hired to do* will push you over the edge and into the light, the light of realizing Avatar fucking blows.
“When I sat down to write the sequels, I knew there were going to be three at the time and eventually it turned into four, I put together a group of writers and said, ‘I don’t want to hear anybody’s new ideas or anyone’s pitches until we have spent some time figuring out what worked on the first film, what connected, and why it worked,’” Cameron said during a recent appearance on The Marianne Williamson Podcast.
“They kept wanting to talk about the new stories. I said, ‘We aren’t doing that yet.’ Eventually I had to threaten to fire them all because they were doing what writers do, which is to try and create new stories. I said, ‘We need to understand what the connection was and protect it, protect that ember and that flame.’” [via IndieWire]
One of these days, I’m going to force myself to smoke about an eighth of weed, lock myself in my room, and rewatch Avatar. For the content. Not for the movie, of course. Lord knows what I’ll be able to write about after actually watching the movie, considering I haven’t seen it since it was first in theaters 117 years ago.
The official Twitter account of the biggest movie of all time only having 150,000 followers is fucking HYSTERICAL 💀 pic.twitter.com/pDKFgsRh0m
— Post Cred Pod (@PostCredPod) April 2, 2021