Johnny Depp Loses Libel Lawsuit, Officially Spends Millions Just To Cuck Himself

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“Any publicity is good publicity.”
-Not Johnny Depp

Johnny Depp imposed a libel inception upon himself by suing a tabloid over defamatory remarks published two years ago only to be put on a very public trial in which many more tabloids are guaranteed to report any reputation-damaging allegations in Depp’s quest to fight reputation-damaging allegations.

And now, after spending millions to clear his name, Depp is left with nothing.

According to CNN, Depp lost his libel case against the publisher of Britain’s The Sun newspaper, who in an editorial claimed that he was a reckless and abusive husband to ex-Amber Heard.

Judge Andrew Nicol said in his judgment Monday that the paper’s claims had been shown to be “substantially true.”

“I have reached these conclusions having examined in detail the 14 incidents on which the defendants rely, as well as the over-arching considerations which the claimant submitted I should take into account,” the judge said.

Nicol addressed each of the 14 incidents individually, concluding time-after-time that Depp did assault Heard, many times in a drug-and-alcohol-fueled rage.


  • Depp was accused of attacking Heard in a cocaine and alcohol-fueled rage while aboard a plane and accusing her of cheating on him with “rapist” James Franco.


  • In a text conversation between Depp and friend and actor Paul Bettany, the Pirates actor joked about “setting Amber Heard on fire and ‘f***ing her burnt corpse afterwards to make sure she’s dead.’”
  • In 2016  text messages to talent agent and Lady Gaga’s ex-fiance Christian Carino, Depp referred to his now ex-wife as a “gold digger” and a “50 cent stripper” who sucked Elon Musk’s “crooked d–k.”
  • Heard alleged that Depp would consistently puke and crap his pants during benders, sometimes passing out on the toilet.
  • Heard claimed that Depp lobbed 30 bottles of alcohol at her “like grenades” during an altercation.

The Sun, which is owned by media mogul Rupert Murdoch’s News Corp., said in a statement following the verdict: “The Sun has stood up and campaigned for the victims of domestic abuse for over 20 years. Domestic abuse victims must never be silenced and we thank the judge for his careful consideration and thank Amber Heard for her courage in giving evidence to the court.”

Despite Depp being found to be a complete unhinged lunatic, he still has two big budget movies on the horizon while the world is dead set on ruining Ellen because she didn’t kiss the feet of her interns. What a world.

[h/t CNN]

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Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.