I’m going to pull a Gordon Gekko right now and drop a little bit of knowledge that may contradict everything you thought you knew: drinking alcohol…is good for you.
I’m serious. This is not a silly article where I jokingly list reasons why drinking is beneficial that most medical professionals would extremely frown upon. I’m not going to say things like “Blacking out is great because you forget your mistakes, which helps you move on in life.” No. I won’t tell you “Drinking more helps increase your tolerance and allows you to be able to drink even more while still being okay to hop in your car to drive home.” I’m not here to lie to you. I’m here to help.
Now, when I say that drinking is good for you, I do not mean that getting wasted seven nights a week with people you don’t know is a great habit to develop. I ‘m talking about drinking in moderation; a glass filled with a responsible amount of whiskey or a sensible pour from a bottle of wine that lasts for multiple days; the kind of drinking that you tell your doctor you do when they ask, “So how often do you really consume alcohol?”
That’s the kind of drinking that was the subject of a recent study that was conducted to examine whether or not a substance famous for laying waste to brain cells may actually help the mind. Despite what you may think when you’re on the verge of launching yourself off of a roof into a swimming pool that’s further away than you think, alcohol doesn’t give us superpowers. However, researchers were able to link moderate alcohol intake to improved cognitive function and better overall brain health in the long term.
According to the analysis, brain functions including vocabulary and word recall decline slower in moderate drinkers than in those who lay off the sauce entirely. What exactly is “moderate,” you ask? Well, guys can get away with around 15 drinks per week while women have to limit themselves to eight. Sucks to suck, ladies.
So, if you want to be a healthy 65-year-old who dishes out words like “alacrity” in casual conversation, then you should probably keep on drinking in a responsible manner because (again) it’ll make you more smarter. That’s why I feel like we shouldn’t be that mad at the guy who recently stole a fire truck to drive to a bar. He just wanted to help improve his cognitive function.