There Is A Fiery Debate On Twitter About Whether Jake Johnson Is Worthy Of The Bombshells He Pulls On ‘New Girl’

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I’m a straight man.

Buuuuuut even my wife knows that I’m Chris Kyle with the hot guy radar gun, whereas I’m still deciding whether the chess chick from The Queen’s Gambit would be attractive if she worked at The Cheesecake Factory.

Acting on it is a different conversation, but if I’m hanging out with Chris Hemsworth, you best believe I’m going to turn up the charm more than I would, say, my wife’s friend Heather. Maybe it’s an acceptance thing or maybe it’s those gorgeous blue eyes or poreless skin or symmetrical pecks.

So when comedian and actor Jake Johnson began trending after sparking a debate on Twitter on whether he deserves the insane caliber of women he’s pulled as his role as Nick Miller in New Girl, I feel I am qualified to weigh in on the matter.

Zooey Deschanel, Megan Fox (who he dumped), Lizzy Caplan, and Olivia Munn.

Not a bad murderer’s row for a guy who plays a broke bartender with no ambition and three roommates.

This has started a ferocious debate on the webs about whether Nick was deserved of this success. There are two schools of thought.

  1. HELL NO:


Final Verdict: Nick Miller has what we call in the industry ‘Glow Up Game.’ He can look really hot and polished in ironed clothes and a sun-kissed hue, but if you throw that dude in Alaska in February and he’s rolling out of bed after a bender, he’ll look like the assistant manager at GameStop.

Glow Up Nick Miller: Worthy of Megan Fox.
Alaska Nick Miller: Worthy of my wife’s friend, Heather.


Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.