Listen I’m not here to shame people for not doing their job the day after the Super Bowl, because the most work I did on Monday was on the toilet. Rest in fece, my trusty porcelain prince.
But I’m a sucker for a classic Self-Assured Newscaster Speaking Enthusiastically About Something They Know Nothing About, so I bring you this news from ABC7 in the Los Angeles area.
This is all of us when we’re trying to write a research paper without actually reading the book.
This would be a embarrassing on any other day of the year, but the day after the Super Bowl it’s heroic that these ladies are even delivering the fake knees with a belly full of pigs-in-a-blanket and the faint stench of silent-but-deadlies permeating throughout the studio.
Someone gets these ladies a Tums and a Medal of Honor.
Uh oh, Karen’s taco dip continues to cloud the mind…
“Congratulations to the 49ers for winning their first Sports Ball title in 50 years, aside from 1995, 1990, 1989, 1985, and 1982. We’ll be back after a short message from our sponsors and an explosive poop.”
Pictured: The greatest 49er to never win a Super Bowl while also winning three.
Gotta love Jeremy Rice.