Did you know Pete Davidson’s meat popsicle gives women lifetime passes to Soul Cycle and bottomless brunch mimosas if they rub it like a genie?
It’s true because it has to be.
Just one cursory glance at his resume provides enough evidence to support this claim: Cazzie David, Ariana Grande, Kate Beckinsale, Margaret Qualley. And these are just the ones we know about.
(I could have just stopped at Kate Beckinsale. Dear sweet baby Jesus.)
Just one week after Davidson and Margaret Qualley called it quits, Mr. Davidson’s yogurt slinger is back to work after a relaxing 13 minute vacation.
The 25-year-old SNL guy was reportedly seen leaving the Soho Manhattan apartment of 18-year-old supermodel and daughter of Cindy Crawford, Kaia Gerber, on Wednesday.
An “insider” told Page Six that the two are “just friends,” which is exactly what I tell the Hooters waitress when my wife goes to the bathroom on our anniversary dinner. Plus, I know Davidson is young, but what would a grownish man gain from being friends with someone who was born after Baby Shark was released?
I have a theory.
In June, Davidson made his runway debut for Alexander Wang, and Gerber modeled in the fashion show as well. This was likely where they met. But, at the time, Gerber was just 17, as her birthday is September 3 according to my sources (Wikipedia). Davidson probably felt like the optics of dating a 17-year-old were bad (rightfully so), so he had Mother Time do her work while he fiddled around with Maragaret Qualley for a few months in the meantime.
Cheers to another Pete Davidson love affair. Here Kaia, you can cheers with a glass of orange juice for the next three years.