Swifties Are Having A Meltdown After Tool Dethrones Taylor Swift, Maynard James Keenan Mocks Pop Fans With Thanos Meme

by 11 months ago

On August 30, Tool released Fear Inoculum, their first album in 13 years. The new album has been received extremely positively by critics and Tool fans alike. The new album has not been welcomed by Taylor Swift fans one iota.

Sales for Fear Inoculum have been tremendous out of the gate for Tool, so much so that the dark progressive rock from the 90s has the best-selling music album in the country. Tool’s latest album is so beloved that it dethroned Taylor Swift’s Lover LP from the number one spot on the Billboard 200. This has angered Taylor Swift fans with the fire of a thousand suns.

Swift released Lover on August 23 and was crowned #1 with nearly 900,000 albums sold in the first week. But in the second week, sales will sink to under 200,000 sales. Swifties urged other Taylor Swift fans to download Lover multiple times so that Tool would not become the #1 album. A Swiftie on Twitter told everyone to: “STREAM #Lover by Taylor Swift HARDER!”

Many of the younger Swifties had no idea what Tool was and it could not permeate their skulls that Swift was about to be knocked off the #1 spot. “Who the f*ck is TOOL?”

Fans of the bubblegum pop songs by Taylor Swift were bewildered by the length of Tool songs.

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The Swifties ignited a culture war between Zoomers and Gen-Xers that I’m not sure we needed or even asked for. Tool fans are probably not very concerned with Fear Inoculum being the #1 album in America.

Tool’s lead singer Maynard James Keenan embraced the new notoriety by the pop-loving Taylor Swift fans by posting this A+ Thanos meme, which only ignited more T-Swift outrage.

The only way to bring the Swifties and the Tool fans together is with a collaboration between the two music artists. Thankfully, one talented individual somehow melded Tool’s gritty 1996 hit song Stinkfist with Swift’s 2012 breakup anthem We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together. We are all fans of a hit song with this incredible mashup.


Paul Sacca has written on a myriad of topics ranging from breaking news to movies to technology to men's interests for nearly a decade. His articles have been cited in numerous media powerhouses such as USA Today, New York Daily News, New York Post, CNN, Sports Illustrated, Huffington Post, Deadspin, and The Big Lead.

TAGSFear InoculumMaynard James Keenanmusicmusic newsSwifitiesTaylor SwiftTaylor Swift Tool SongTool