Vanilla Ice is preparing to hold a 4th of July concert in Austin, Texas for an audience of 2,500 fans. Tickets will range between $25 for general admission on up to $300 for VIP seating. And all I can think about is how it would feel to be stuck in the ICU three weeks later, gasping for air, and thinking about how you’re on your way out because you went to a damn Vanilla Ice concert during the peak of a pandemic.
The state of Texas is closing some beaches for the 4th of July. Bars statewide have been ordered closed by Governor Greg Abbott after record-setting days in new coronavirus cases. But none of that is stopping Vanilla Ice, real name Robert Matthew Van Winkle, from pushing forward with his concert.
The performance will be held at Emerald Point Bar & Grill on Lake Travis and the venue holds 5,000 but they’re only selling 2,500 tickets which means everything will be 1000000% safe, right??? Vanilla Ice DGAF. He took to Instagram to proclaim htat he misses the 90s because it was the last great decade and not because it was the last time he was culturally relevant in any way, shape, or form:
I can’t wait to get back to this. The 90s were the best. We didn’t have coronavirus, or cell phones, or computers.
we had 5.0‘s, blockbuster, Beavis and Butthead, Wayne’s world, Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan.
And Mortal Kombat is still better than fortnight but we got out of the house, We danced, we invented house parties in the 90s. The last of the great decades #IMissThenineties
You might not be surprised to learn that Vanilla Ice and his plans to move forward with his 4th of July concert are getting torched on Twitter. Let’s check out how the people of America feel about Vanilla’s plans to hold a large event that puts thousands at risk:
We may never know if this weekend's Vanilla Ice concert will result in a COVID-19 spike, because no one will admit they went to a Vanilla Ice concert. https://t.co/TN7XNJ4RIE
— Frank Luntz (@FrankLuntz) July 1, 2020
If you got a problem, no one solves it
Check out my lung while the COVID dissolves it
— Mike Wilson (@mrmgwilson) July 2, 2020
The 5 vanilla ice fans when he performs ice ice baby in Austin pic.twitter.com/OyNTlBQ7En
— Dylan (@Dylangonzalez21) July 2, 2020
Getting the coronavirus at a Vanilla Ice concert has to be one of the lamest ways to die possible.
— Jeffrey Royer (@JeffreyRoyer) July 1, 2020
The real news here is that there are more than a thousand people who want to see Vanilla Ice perform https://t.co/AlF0IleVZU
— Parker Molloy (@ParkerMolloy) July 2, 2020
You heard correctly, Lord. I died because I needed to see Vanilla Ice. In 2020. During the pandemic. https://t.co/JbMaQV2Lbv
— Bryan Behar (@bryanbehar) July 2, 2020
Kids, I grew up in the 90s and trust me: Vanilla Ice is not worth losing your life for. https://t.co/uPpTw6BM8Y
— Julia Ioffe (@juliaioffe) July 2, 2020
imagine living through WWII and Vietnam then dying because your grandkids went to a Vanilla Ice concert in 2020 https://t.co/gkEO1JZUo9
— Fred Delicious (@Fred_Delicious) July 2, 2020
“Dad? How did mom die?”
“Well, kids, your mother was a true American. She believed in liberty, and the flag, and refused to cowtow to liberal fear mongers who impose Sharia Law on American citizens. So she went to a Vanilla Ice concert on July 4th in the middle of a pandemic.”
— Ken Tremendous (@KenTremendous) July 2, 2020
Texas recorded 8,076 new cases on Wednesday. Hospitals in Houston are already so full that patients are having to be shuffled to hospitals elsewhere. There are currently over 6,900 people hospitalized in Texas with COVID-19 compared to 2,000 just three weeks ago.
Maybe holding this concert during a pandemic was the only possible way Vanilla Ice could get people to start talking about him again? Perhaps the plan is working masterfully as news of this event has been picked up by nearly every media outlet in America with everyone questioning why TF this is happening.