Sometimes when I’m feeling down or uninspired, I scroll through Jaden Smith’s tweets to instill in myself some wisdom from a 19-year-old who was born with a silver spoon. The self-proclaimed poet slash philosopher has instilled in me more wisdom than Socrates and Dr. Phil ever could. I wish I could thank him, but I know I am not worthy.
I hope you find the same enlightenment I do in Jaden’s infinite wisdom. Try using one of these pickup lines at a bar but make sure to remind the ladies that it’s illegal to drop their panties in public.
Prove it. Gauge them out. Don’t be a baby back bitch.
Besides shitting their pants and sucking their own mother’s boobies, newborns are basically Rain Main.
Bro I think the mushrooms are kicking in.
Jaden you will never die. You will live through your father’s legacy for all eternity.
When the Uber driver doesn’t offer you a Werther’s Original…
Don’t confuse feel good crying with syphilis. Shit is like peeing out razor blades. Says a friend of mine that isn’t me.
Is math another name for jerking off? Then ya, totally agree.
Oh I get it. Wait, actually. What the fuck are you talking about?
New cells. Same piece of shit.
noun: the natural agent that stimulates sight and makes things visible.
Dude I just asked if you knew the time.
Lifehack: if you say ‘Nevermore’ in a sentence, you’re automatically smarter than everyone in the room.
Shrek was also an obese ogre whose best friend was a donkey.
DONE!