Saturday Night Live‘s cold open this week took aim at Tuesday night’s Republican debate on CNN. Donald Trump, wonderfully played by Darrell Hammond, masterfully manhandles poor Gov. Jeb Bush portrayed by Beck Bennett. Jeb! desperately tries to start a fight with Trump to increase his own standing in the polls, but Trump quickly dismisses him. “I’m at 43, and you’re at 3, Jeb you’re a nice guy, but you’re a lightweight. And I know for a fact that you pee sitting down.” Just a timeless slam and is still one of the most effective insults a man can tell another man.
After Jeb! attempts to attack Trump again, the Donald easily dispenses him.
Jeb, you’re a very nice man, but you’re basically a little girl. Folks this is true, I got hold of Jeb’s birth certificate and full disclosure, his real name is ‘Jeborah.’ JEBORAH! JEBORAH! JEBORAH! Hey Jeborah, ‘Loser says what?'”
Jeborah asks, “What?”
Senator Rand Paul, played by Kyle Mooney, attempts to insert himself into the discussion, but Wolf Blitzer notifies the Libertarian candidate with only 2 percent support in the latest Fox News poll that they are not taking comments from the audience yet.
Sen. Ted Cruz, played by Taran Killam, boasted that he was voted as the candidate “Most people Wanted To Throw A Beer At,” and he has what doctor’s call a “punchable face.”
Gov. Chris Christie, portrayed by Bobby Moynihan, goes full New Jersey, by reciting lines from Bon Jovi’s 1987 song “Wanted Dead or Alive” and screaming out “Baba booey!”
Others in the skit about the GOP debate from Las Vegas saw Jay Pharoah play a sleepy and very sloth-like Dr. Ben Carson, Cecily Strong as the former HP saleswoman Carly Fiorina and Pete Davidson was Sen. Marco Rubio, “the only one up here you’d swipe right on.”