In a new interview with The Guardian, Sheeran tells a tale that will make any non-Belieber green with envy…
“We were in Japan. We’d been out to a dive bar. He just drank water and I got hammered. Then we went to a golf course, and he lay on the floor and put a golf ball in his mouth and told me to hit it out of his mouth. I was like, ‘Fuck, I need to aim this properly,’ and I swung.
First of all, does anyone believe that Bieber would let Sheeran hit a golf ball out of his mouth while he was totally sober and Sheeran was shit-faced? No? Okay, back to the story.
And you know in films when someone gets punched, and you hear that fake sound, like a slap? But in real life when someone gets punched, you hear that dull thud, a bit sickening? I heard a sound like the last one, and saw his security guard looking at me like” – he pulls a horrified expression. “I’d cracked Justin Bieber right in the cheek with a golf club. That was,” he concludes, “one of those ‘What the fuck?’ moments.”
What I, and many others, would have given to be there to hear “that dull thud.”
I think am going to go and buy all of his albums now because this is obviously a man we need to support to the fullest.
Cheers to you, good sir. Keep doing the Lord’s work for us like that.