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Dude, Madonna wants us to fuck her. Check that, Madonna needs us to fuck her.
Maybe at the same time, or maybe I’ll patiently wait my turn in the living room and throw on some Netflix while you slap skins with the pop icon. Shouldn’t take more than 7 minutes knowing you, bro. You set ’em up, I knock ’em down. And by ‘knock em down’ I mean lay on her like a pancake while in the missionary position because my triceps are too weak to hold myself up.
Regardless of the logistics, the 57-year-old suffered a boozy onstage meltdown while performing at the Rod Laver Arena show in Melbourne, Australia. At one point, she grabbed a fan’s flask and took a swig out of it before revealing that she “messed up” her own songs.
She even fell off a tricycle.
My tweets in the New Zealand Herald…my relevance pic.twitter.com/1cn9xKlSFs
— STEPHEN ZERANCE (@stephnz) March 11, 2016
On second thought, you may want to wait until she’s sober to do the boinky boinky.
[h/t Daily Mail]