Hot dogs 100% fall into the ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ column of my diet. I know that I don’t want to know what’s inside of them. I’ve heard all sorts of different theories about the makeup of a hot dog. Leftover meat on the slaughterhouse floor. Pig buttholes. A blended concoction of premature mammal fetuses. People’s thumbs. I’ve literally heard it all. And yes, I still eat them. I’m grilling a few of them up for lunch as we speak. Gotta have my pig buttholes.
Despite my guesses, I really have no idea what’s in a hot dog. And I really don’t even want to know how it’s made. In my mind, the process is just a creepy farm-hand with one eyebrow digging out the backsides of a dead animals and throwing them into a blender. Which, according to this Jimmy Kimmel segment that saw Snoop Dogg attempt to guess what process he was watching unfold, is not how hot dogs are made at all.
Ok so what the fuck. Why does the interior of a hot dog look like shitty soft serve chocolate ice cream? Quick story about Snoop Dogg: One time I went to a concert where he was supposed to perform as a sort of intermission between the two main acts. All he did was get high onstage and dance around while his iPod played. He literally looked as if he had no idea what was going on. That’s pretty much how I feel watching how hot dogs are made. So I guess we just have to accept that hot dogs are simply an elongated bag made of a thin edible membrane of plastic full of some sort of meat soup? Amazing. I probably won’t eat these hot dogs I just grilled. No, I will. I’m pretty sure that meat soup falls somewhere on the food pyramid. It can’t be that bad for me.