Cocaine has been known to put better men than us in the streets, running their asses of with Forrest Gump-like enthusiasm on a mission to fight the good fight, whatever that might be, within the scope of a brief, ten minute high.
That’s what cocaine does.
The drug temporarily gives the average human the sense that he has achieved super power status, giving them more energy and confidence than they could ever muster naturally from the borderline inbred genetics inherited from their parents. This is its allure. It produces feel goods that are unattainable without its backbiting seductions.
One of the most obvious downsides, however, is that it almost immediately takes an increased dose to get off the same as the time before. No wonder cocaine consumption is experiencing such a serious uptick in the United States. Just scroll through your social media accounts for five minutes and you‘ll quickly see that most people are simply searching for a trapdoor out of the depressing and mundane.
Cocaine provides an escape, but not without some repercussions.
For those people who have fallen into the grips of cocaine addiction, we are sad to report that there isn’t much available in the line of effective treatments. There have been studies that suggest a “cocaine vaccine” could possibly hit the market in the future. But this potential remedy is not expected to come to fruition within the next ten years.
For the blow fiend in desperate need to get his shit under control, like, right now, there is new evidence pointing to regular exercise as a possible outlet from the madness. We know it sounds like some fitness propaganda, but scientists from the University of Buffalo’s Research Institute on Addictions and Department of Pharmacology and Toxicology claim that some good old fashion strenuous lifting, running and hard work has the ability to prevent cocaine cravings from rearing their ugly head.
“Cocaine addiction is often characterized by cycles of recovery and relapse, with stress and negative emotions, often caused by withdrawal itself, among the major causes of relapse,” lead researcher Peter Thanos, PhD, said in a statement.
“Our results suggest that regular aerobic exercise could be a useful strategy for relapse prevention, as part of a comprehensive treatment program for recovering cocaine abusers.”
Without getting overly scientific here, let’s just say that what cokeheads are really addicted to is the increased dopamine that is released in their brains after snorting a line. Cocaine increases the production of this naturally occurring chemical and turns up the brain’s reward and pleasure centers to full volume. When there is no cocaine, shit gets boring and then, of course, more of the drug is needed for the user to feel even remotely normal.
But researchers say that regular exercise tickles the dopamine pathway in the same way, providing some relief from the anxiety and stress that typically comes from cocaine withdrawal. And a gym membership is much cheaper than rehab!
For those of you reading this article, thinking, “Why in hell’s holy name would I ever want to stop doing cocaine? It feels good and I’m nowhere close to having a problem.” Well, here’s some horrifying information to consider. If getting strung out and perhaps dropping dead of a heart attack is not a good enough reason to kick the habit, how about considering the damage you could be doing to your best friend in the world – your penis. Although the drug has a reputation for increasing a man’s sexual appetite, it can actually bring about a mean case of sexual dysfunction, according to medical experts.
“Cocaine may lead to ejaculatory difficulties and lower ejaculatory volumes,” Dr. Mandy Tozer, Medical Director at CARE Fertility London, told Vice UK.
“Chronic use of cocaine may lead to priapism, which is a persistent painful erection often needing medical assistance—it’s a serious condition that can cause permanent damage to the penis.”
The drug can also restrict the flow of blood to the penis and make it impossible to get an erection. So that’s something to consider.
We don’t know about you fellas, but our pecker health isn’t something we are willing to risk for any drug, even if it does allow us a momentary escape from the real world. Where we come from, not having functional junk is just about as tragic as it gets. And we can’t think of an intoxicating substance that could possibly allow us an escape from that embarrassment. No, thank you. We’ll stick to weed. Studies have shown that the stoner boner is real!