It would really suck to be Justin Verlander’s drinking buddy right now. When he’s not playing ball, he’s spending his time either (a. slaying Kate Upton or (b. doing cutesy things with Kate Upton like going apple picking and to wineries together. No time to just sit and fart on the couch with your boys watching reruns of Bar Rescue. Couples stuff, UGH.
Her most recent Instagram pic suggests that she’s DYING for Justin Verlander to buy her that rock. It’s a pic of Kate Upton holding a puppy saying “Pleaseeeee @justinverlander.” You know what happens when a couple gets a dog together, right? It’s the ULTIMATE “let’s settle down together” symbol. It’s more permanent than moving in together, because it suggests you’ll always be around to care for it until it goes to doggie heaven, many many years from now. Once your friends start getting dogs with their significant others, you’re FUCKED, bro. There is no turning back because it’s just a domino effect of engagement rings, weddings, babies, and boring ass “Hey, whatcha doing for the game tomorrow?” when you run into each other at Home Depot on Satruday morning.
Kate Upton and Justin Verlander getting a dog. If it happens, your chances you never had with Kate Upton are officially over, Bros.
UPDATE: Justin Verlander responded: “@kateupton If anyone objects raise your hand! #RileyObjects #jealous #RileyWins”
[H/T: Busted Coverage]