We might not all have an “Uncle Eddie,” but when the family is drinking you can always expect to see certain people come out. These are the five different drunks that every family seems to have at dinner. They can control their commentary on your life while sober, but it’s game over after few Chardonnays. Hopefully you managed to avoid their wrath last night.
He doesn’t mean to be uncouth, he’s just “from a different generation.” Grandpas or grandmas will always say what’s on their mind because they don’t have time to waste on filters or political correctness. Undoubtedly this will make you cringe and quietly apologize to your new girlfriend only to be told her grandpa is the same way.
4. Aunt who wants to set you up
Every aunt has a friend with a daughter that would be perfect for you. Sure you only see this aunt once a year, and she has no idea what goes on in your life, but this girl she met twice will definitely be your ideal girlfriend. She’ll call Thelma right after dinner and have her put the daughter on the phone. Stop being such a pansy.
3. Aunt who thinks you’re gay
You’re single, therefore you’re gay. All of her friends’ kids are already married so there has to be a reason you’re not. What else could it be other than that you’re gay. You haven’t brought a girl around here in years, and she can’t imagine why.
2. Uncle who has it all planned out
Your cousin has his life on a standard track, and you should too. Luckily drunk uncle has the perfect plan for you to find a job you hate in a profession you despise. All you have to do is go back to school, meet the right people, get an entry level job, work your way up, and in 15 years you’ll be back on track. He’ll make some calls for you after dinner
1. Little cousin who isn’t little anymore
There’s nothing more startling than seeing a cousin getting drunk when you’ve always pictured him as a little kid. Sure he’s in college now, but you still think of him like an 8-year-old. It turns out that four year difference doesn’t seem like much once you’re no longer twelve.