Want to know what we like here at BroBible? Drinking. Have a crappy work week where your jerk boss was all over you to get those meaningless TPS reports done? BAR. Celebrating the fact that you just got promoted and no longer have to fetch the boss’s lunch from Smith & Wollensky every day at noon? BAR. Girlfriend broke up with you because you wouldn’t do a Soul Cycle session with her? BAR. Didn’t draft a dud in Fantasy Football? BAR. Living in New York means having access to some of the best bars imaginable for any kind of celebratory or commissary occasion.
Because every night is a night worth celebrating, Cabo Diablo challenged us to do a little research and unveil the twelve most bro bars for any occasion. But before we reveal our list, we want to see your troublemaking ways on full display. So send in your photos or videos via the hashtag #DiabloMadeMeDoIt on Twitter and Instagram. You’ll be entered for a chance to win a trip and VIP experience at our epic Halloween Bash, hosted by Cabo Diablo and BroBible. It’s going to be a night you will never forget.
Below are our favorite wateringholes in NYC. And remember: Tomorrow’s stories start tonight.
Eats on Lex
A neighborhood spot, Eats is a great place to truly enjoy the Upper East Side for all it’s worth. Great brunch, great wine selection, but not pretentious. Great after work spot away from all the midtown idiocy, where you can be a finance bro, not a finance d-bag. Happy Hour deals here help bring the notion that the UES is too pricey down a few notches, with some bangin’ dollar oysters as well. Perks? Because this crowd tends to be local, attracting only the chillest chicks in the Upper East Side.
It seems like every week another treasured East Village dive bar turns into a fro-yo shop or yoga studio for basic girls. In a neighborhood that’s rapidly gentrifying, Docs remains true to its dive bars roots: The happy hour special runs all day, the pool table always has a game, and the bartenders dance on the bar to music blaring out of the loudest jukebox you’ll ever hear. Oh the jukebox? It plays both kinds of music: Country and western, making a rural NYC transplant feel right at home in the Big City. It’s the perfect dive bar for transitioning from college dive bar to post-grad, I’ve-got-to-get-up-and-give-a-presentation-at-work-in-the-morning dive bar. It manages to attract a motley mix of post-grad finance Bros, giggly girls, and eccentric characters from the East Village’s punk rock days that still make the ‘hood the greatest one in the city.
Want to impress that hot chick on Tinder? Show her she’s more than just a right swipe? This place is an awesome bar for that. Spanish themed, tequila infused, this dual level bar not only boasts a great margarita selection, but an awesome basement bar that looks like a cross between Game of Thrones and The Standard. The food is great, the bartenders are awesome, and you will never fail to impress basic white girls with organic margaritas (they have them) and guacamole.
A LES spot recently renovated, this is your standard dive bar with a less grimy feel. Great Happy Hour deals ’til 8, anywhere I can find a cheap drink in New York City that isn’t being offered to me by a homeless dude is a place to remember. The bartenders here are beyond friendly, which makes a night of drinking here that much more entertaining. Solid spot for private parties if you’re looking to do the “I’m having a party but I’m not a party person” type of party. Laid back atmosphere where every type of bro can feel at home, from the hipsters to the future Fortune 500 CEOs. This is a great spot for the bros who don’t fit in to any one specific category. Hipster finance guys? Soul Cycle trainers into motocross? Republican environmentalist? You’ll see all walks of life come through for a drink.
Off the Wagon
Remember what college was like? I know I vaguely do! But every time I step foot in Off the Wagon, I’m instantly transported back to a time where mixed drinks in clear plastic solo cups and pong tables were the norm in bars. A typical NYU bar, it’s a great spot for post-kickball, softball or ultimate frisbee (or whatever team drinking thing you have going on) games drinking. Pong tables abound, buy some pitchers and fill ‘em up. Then enjoy the intellectually stimulating conversation with friendly NYU coeds who really want to make a difference.
For you bros who figured out that rent in NYC is absurd and Astoria is only a stone’s throw away, this one’s for you! A neighborhood favorite, this pub boasts an outstanding reputation among the locals. Trivia Wednesday, karaoke Thursdays and a warm, welcome feel to patrons from every borough make Queens seem not so bad! Just kidding. Sort of. Great for Happy Hour and brunch, this is a local spot in Astoria that will solidify your opinion that moving to Queens from your overpriced spot in Midtown East WAS in fact the right decision.
Five Mile Stone
This is a drinking bro’s bar. The whiskey list alone should bring every guy in NYC running. An Upper East Side gem, this bar boasts an extensive list of alcoholic options from solid craft beers, to the aforementioned whiskey list of doom, to cocktails that Bros and ladies will love (the Garden District includes basil infused Wodka, Yellow Chartruese and cucumber-mint syrup. I. Can’t. Even.). Try the second floor balcony for a sick view of 2nd Ave that’ll make you wish you never took that shoebox in the East Village.
The Iron Horse
Four words: All. Day. Happy. Hour. Thought it couldn’t be done in NYC? You were wrong! This FiDi bar helps keep this area alive on the weekends. The sign above the bar says it all: “Get Your Ass on the Bar.” Patrons are encouraged to embarrass themselves mightily, while hottie bartenders take rides on the swing hooked up above the bar. This place is like an adult circus, complete with games like the wheel of misfortune ($5 dollar/spin drink choice) photo booth and pool table. If you’re looking to have a night full of delightfully bad decisions, this is a great place to start out OR end up.
In the spirit of the old Tennessee moonshiners, Bondurants in the Upper East Side is a neighborhood bar focused on small batch bourbons, handcrafted cocktails and a constantly changing select draft list. Nestled in the UES, the biggest bro-neighborhood in NYC, Bondurant’s is a happy bro-medium between your typical brostablishment and a date spot. With gastro pub style food and specialty cocktails that are guaranteed to blow her mind on a date.
A seasonal staple for any good bro, Boat Basin has a few good weeks left to enjoy awesome views of the Hudson River and impress loads of preppy girls with your dogs. Yes, dogs. Bring your adorable pooch, get cocktail, and sit back and watch as girls who might normally be way out of your league come over to pet your dog and casually ask if they can chill while you sip your aforementioned cocktail. Then let the magic happen. All joking aside, this awesome outdoor bar that indeed does welcome fidos, open March-late October is one of the best spots in the city. Drinks are reasonably priced, the atmosphere is laid back and fun, and the location is hands down the selling point. Great spot for post-work drinks, Saturday and Sunday fundays, dates or private events (We’ve walked through countless crawfish bakes at this place). Wear your boat shoes, Nantucket red shorts, and your J. Crew Gingham shirt and you’ll be set.
Brother Jimmy’s Murray Hill
C’mon, it has “bro” right there in the name. Brother Jimmy’s will always be every Bro’s favorite NYC bar, despite Maryland no longer being in the ACC (…Bro JIm’s is the ACC bar for any discerning ACC alum). It is an institution to the Bros of this city. One of the best bars to watch college hoops games, grab drinks with the boys after work, or spend a Saturday taking Cabo shots, playing ski ball and reliving the glory days of being a lax bro. Always awesome deals at the bar, check in on Tuesday nights for Brother Jimmy’s homegrown band of awesomeness, The Barnstorm. Those dudes are the epitome of bros and they do solid covers of everyone from Dave Matthews to Miley Cyrus. If there is a heaven for bros, Brother Jimmy’s is it, complete with tall boys, college football, BBQ, an amazing cover band, vineyard vines vests, stories from the lax house and girls from Long Island.