Church-Going 74 Year-Old Grandma Proves That You’re Never Too Old To Pedal Heat (Read: Hand Out Your Mixtape)
I’d trade 6 inches off my dick just to be a fly on the wall when this 74 year-old woman decided to create a mixtape of hip-hop Gospel music. Honestly, it’d be a much worse idea if she sucked and it had blown up in her face. But this shit is fuego. I could see these tracks making a nun out of street whore. In the old days, preacher’s employed the word of God to convince women to stop cleaning their back teeth with a married man’s meat stick. But no one gives a shit about people who just talk. You need to layer your religious mumbo-jumbo over a cool bed of white hot fire. That’s the only way people are going to listen to you. As is evident by Lyrical Lively going viral all over the Internet.
We’re going to be a nation of churchgoers by the time ole’ Lyrical Lively drops her second album. Either that or we’ll be shooting foxes left and right in the name of God. If L.L. has shown me anything, it’s that the best way to indoctrinate the masses is via a mixtape. We’re all just sheeple. I’d drink potentially lethal kool-aid if someone dropping some dope bars over a doper beat told me do so. Directly or indirectly.