I’m not really sure what to think of these answers to the question posed over at “Ask Reddit” by CrunchyNappyFap.
The question, “What’s the best thing you’ve been told during/after sex?” elicited some very unusual responses. Sure, there were a few, normal, sweet things in there, but as usual when anonymity is involved it had to go and get a little weird at times.
This question also could have been, “give us you best humblebrag sex story,” as you shall see based on some of the answers that were given.
Here are a few of the highlights…
After going down on a girl I was hooking up with, she called me the patron saint of oral sex. I’m thinking about getting medallions made. ~ can_you_swim
After with a breathless smile: “No one has ever done that to me before!” ~ CathaoirLXIX
“Wow, that was better than Nicole said it would be.”
I hooked up with this one chick (Nicole) and I guess she enjoyed the performance and told her friends. At the time I had no idea the girls knew each other. ~ ad190409
Best I ever got after was “I’d go make you a sandwich but you destroyed my pussy and I can’t walk” then she pointed around the room saying “there is some,” “oh look there is some over there” and we just cracked up laughing. Still with her. I love this chick. ~ drakemcguff
My wife says she loves the feel of my balls slapping her ass while in missionary. And now I’m turned on just thinking about it. ~ Reason_to_Smiles
“Oh my god… That thing you did with your hips was amazing.”
I was pleased. ~ CountBlah_Blah
“There’s no way you’re a virgin.”
I was a virgin before she and I got started. ~ Undecided_User_Name
“I think I’m in love.”
Then when she got back home and got on Facebook she asked me if she could tell all her friends about me and said “Uhh you have a really big dick and we’re getting married.”
I was so proud. ~ ColdxCrush
The best messages are left unspoken. My ex got out of bed to clean up and her knees buckled because she couldn’t walk; she had to sit down for a few minutes. By far the best compliment I’ve ever gotten. ~ prospect12
“That was the best 15 seconds of my life.” ~ thisisumum
“How did you make me cum that many times…?”
Never been so proud of myself. ~ PingWarriorDino
I had an ex that spoke fluent polish and he used to put his hands around my neck when I was close to orgasming and say “good girl” in polish. The term “explosive” is an understatement. ~ DaisyLayz
Back in high school, I was eating her out while her parents were watching TV downstairs. When she came, she let out this muffled, both hands on mouth little yelp. As soon as she had her wits about her, she sat up, slapped me across the face and scolded me under her breath. “You made me scream!” ~ chicken_scratch
Me: “Would you like to get breakfast?”
Her: “No thanks, I already ate.” ~ FirstForFun44
When my girlfriend was taking my pants off and yelled “Unleash the Kraken!” ~ MonitorMoniker
“You made me stupid for a few minutes”, while I was riding him, and then I went faster. He couldn’t even form a sentence. I was so proud of myself. ~ dai-the-flu
“God! Where the hell are you from?! The planet of great sex?”
I’ll take it. ~ CmdrWoof
“I’m on the pill.” ~ Wheeeler
I think we have a winner.
Check out the rest of the responses as well as the scintillating comments that followed over at Reddit.
Man and woman image by Shutterstock