“It’s Bill Murray’s world, and we’re all just living in it” is a phrase I say a lot, but one that also never isn’t true. No matter what you’re doing with your life, Bill Murray is doing something better and cooler. Even if it doesn’t seem like it, news flash, he is. Bill Murray could have more fun going to his local Smashburger than you could have finally going to that dance club you’ve never been able to afford to get into. Bill enters a room and the room automatically becomes 200x more fun.
Which is why it’s definitely not a surprise at all that the Charleston Riverdogs have named Ole’ Bill their new Director of Fun.
“Far from an absentee owner Bill can be seen at “The Joe” on any given night. In recent years, Bill has caught and thrown out ceremonial first pitches and coached first base. Bill also holds co-ownership in other minor league clubs including St. Paul, Fort Myers, and Hudson Valley. Bill is an accomplished actor, a graduate of “Saturday Night Live,” and has starred in such films as Ghostbusters, Caddy Shack, Meatballs, Stripes, Quick Change, Groundhog Day, What About Bob?, Rushmore, Charlie’s Angels, The Royal Tenenbaums, and Lost in Translation. More recently, Murray was awarded a Golden Globe for Best Actor and was nominated for an Academy Award for his performance in Lost in Translation.”
MUR-RAY!! MUR-RAY!! MUR-RAY!! If anyone can bring the F-U-N to the Riverdogs stadium, it’s 100% Bill Murray. Guy could turn a funeral into a dance party with only a minimum amount of booze. If I went to a party that was only attended by the kids who used to bully me in elementary school and Bill Murray, it would probably be the best night of my life, even if my old nickname Titty Joe resurfaced. In a perfect world, this would open the door for every team to hire a Director of Fun. However, it would really devolve into a parade of disappointments as no one would do as good a job as Bill Murray. I can’t imagine something like ‘Fun With The New Jersey Jackals Presented By Director Of Fun Jamie Lynn Spears‘ would be much fun unless she got her sister to walk around in a bikini. And even then, I could just see that on the Internet. Meanwhile, The Riverdogs will probably be having $1 Tequila Tuesday with boob-luges and appearances from all of his famous friends. So, I’ll probably just roadtrip over to Charleston and hang with Bill in person. Stay home, Jamie, your services are no longer necessary.