28 Boston College Students Report Violent, Unforgiving Diarrhea From Yep, You Guessed It: Chipotle!

Less than a month after Chipotle closed 43 stores across Oregon and Washington due to an E.Coli breakout that affected 22 people and hospitalized eight, the Chipotle curse has swapped coasts–now infiltrating its poison into the campus of Boston College.

According to Boston’s WCVB,

Several Boston College basketball players are among 28 students who became sick after eating at Chipotle in Brighton.

The students ate at the Chipotle restaurant in Cleveland Circle and are showing symptoms of E. coli.

So far that restaurant has not been linked to the nationwide outbreak that sickened at least 52 people in nine states.

Boston Inspirational Services has ordered a temporary closure of the establishment until they complete their investigation.

Some of the sickened players missed Sunday’s game against UMass Lowell.

A reader sent in a mass email from the BC administration that was sent to all Boston College students about diarrhea.

I may be in the minority here but I could give a shit less if the Chipotle chicken is organic or if each chicken is given an education before being slaughtered, I’d just prefer to walk out with doo doo-free undies. I have already shit my pants after eating Chipotle and although its kind of reassuring that others are having gastro-intestinal meltdowns, we shouldn’t have to duct tape our assholes shut every time we want “food with integrity.”

In related news, Chipotlaway sales are up 800% in the Greater Boston Area.

[h/t WVCB, Bryan]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.