This man is my spirit animal. His sense of priorities 100% lines up with mine. There’s mass pandemonium unfolding around him yet he is only focused on one thing: That delicious slice of pizza in his hands. It doesn’t eat itself! And it’s a waste of $2.50 to let it get cold while trying to settle down whoever-the-fuck fighting about whatever-the-fuck. Why ruin your night and risk a blackeye by intervening in all that bullshit?
This man is in drunchie heaven and that’s all that matters.
What are the chances this happened at one of The 50 Best College Town Pizza Shops In America? I feel like I’ve definitely been this man more than once in my life.