Most hickeys can be concealed under an inch-thick layer of makeup, but when you’re a dude that’s suspect – what reason could you possibly have to be wearing a giant splotch of makeup on your neck, other than to conceal your cheating?
Realizing this, Alex decided to explain to his significant other why he had a hickey before they could just to any conclusions on their own:
“I told my dad yesterday I was gunna see you today and he thought it would be funny to jump on me to wake me up and he gave me a hickey, I was like really!!!! This is huge!!! My mom said I look like white trash.”
Uh…yeah. And I’m secretly a covert CIA agent who only took this job to try and come up with ways to incorporate dank memes into international espionage. Newsflash: it ain’t working, just like how that excuse ain’t working. Dude would’ve been better off claiming he has the flu for a week and waiting for the damn thing to fade.