Chipotle Almost Killed A Guy Yesterday. Like For Real.
The abysmal fall of Chipotle has been like watching a plane crash in slow motion. Once the go-to spot for bros and basic chicks alike, the burrito joint has become a mere punch line. We once loved it so much we would willingly accept diarrhea for it. Now I choose to take my diarrhea elsewhere. Chipotle has become the Aaron Hernandez of the fast casual dining space. Except they haven’t killed a guy, despite their best efforts.
According to RTV 6, a brick Chipotle sign in Nora, Indiana was blown over by strong winds and crushed a car that was parked nearby. What’s mind-boggling is that the owner of the car was IN IT and save a few minor cuts that were attended to at the hospital, he escaped nearly unharmed.
What’s extra fucked is that the dude wasn’t even going to Chipotle. He was going to the Sprint store right next door. A Sprint store employee said the man came into the store bleeding while his co-workers called for help.
“We heard this large crashing sound, I turn around and saw the sign on the car and then a guy just emerged from the car he kind of stumbled around a little bit,” Caleb Vilhauer said.
“It is hard to believe. I think it was a miracle that he was able to get out when he did cause if he, another split second probably he would be dead.”
I’d imagine the guy will sue Chipotle, which may be a debilitating blow after its two CEOs took a $14 million pay cut this year. Now they only make $14 million annually. Boo hoo.
Real talk: The best thing to happen to Chipotle was the news breaking that Subway Jared is a pedophile. Because for that brief period we almost forgot about the poo-filled dumpster fire it has become. Jesus, is anyone behind the wheel at this place?