Chipotle Is Giving Away Free Food To Try To Make You Forget The E. Coli It Gave You Last Week

Let’s be honest here – has the news about Chipotle’s E. coli outbreak actually stopped you from eating at Chipotle? It’s one of those things where you’re all “Ha, like that’s ACTUALLY gonna happen to me!” and then you wind up on the toilet 12 hours later with your asshole on fire as corn shoots rapid-fire out your sphincter. Not only has the E. coli outbreak completely tanked Chipotle’s stock, but every location in the country is closing on the same day in February to hold a company-wide food safety meeting. While that’s all well and depressing news, don’t worry – to try and make you associate the word “Chipotle” with “fast-casual restaurant full of burritos” instead of “death by diarrhea,” they’re now planning to give away more free food than ever.

The chain has apparently always prepared extra food in the event that some winds up being comped over the course of the day, but Chipotle has now reportedly DOUBLED the amount of free food that stores are allowed to give to customers. According to co-CEO Monty Moran (“Unfortunate names for $500 please, Alex) during an interview on Wednesday:

The restaurant chain has doubled the amount of free food stores can give away to customers, said co-CEO Monty Moran during an in-person interview Wednesday at the ICR conference, a closely watched investment conference that attracts retailers and restaurateurs.

While the practice has existed at the company since the “old days,” it had diminished, said CFO Jack Hartung during an interview. “We’ve always had it, but it just kind of drifted to such a low-grade level that it was kind of non-existent.”(via)

Although co-CEO Steve Ells believes that Chipotle will be able to recover from the hit that the E. coli outbreak has had on the company, CFO Jack Hartung believes that its lost profits will only be recouped from a price increase that won’t take place until ~2017.

Oh and by the way…we called the free food thing months ago. Way to take our advice and not give us any credit, fuckers.

[H/T CNBC]