Want Advice On How To Up Your Dating App Game? Take It From Lauren Urasek–The Most Messaged Chick On OkCupid

by 3 years ago
lauren urasek


Have you ever wondered where your online dating profile stacks up against the competition? Sometimes I’ll scroll through my girl friends’ Tinder just to see what techniques other bros are using to convince chicks they’re not serial killers. This may be the behavior of a serial killer, but they say in order to be the best at your job, you gotta know the whole industry.

New York Magazine took a more scientific approach, finding out who the most popular person on OkCupid was based on the ratings and messages sent supplied by the dating app itself.

The winner: 25-year-old New York makeup artist Lauren Urasek.

According to NY Mag, Lauren receives around three dozen emails a day, 245 messages in a one week period, and in the span of seven months she’s received five-star ratings, the highest possible rating, from nearly 8,000 men.

Let’s put a face to the name, shall we?

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Red lips on a gloomy day.

A post shared by Lauren Michelle Urasek (@loandthecosmos) on

Yep. I’d message. Email. And stalk her at her wor–Ok Matt, relax. No wonder why you’re single.

Anyhoo, Lauren spoke with Refinery29 about general tips to make the most of your dating app experience, which may be of assistance to us bros who need all the help we can get. I mean *you bros, I’m good.


When a potential match’s profile seems awesome, that’s great — just don’t put all your eggs in that basket until you’ve actually gotten together (and don’t really do it then either, TBH), Urasek says. “People put too much pressure on meeting people online,” says Urasek. This can lead to some unpleasant crushing of expectations when you two meet IRL. It’s not just about having a disappointing first date, either: Keeping your hopes at a reasonable level helps you get to know the other person in a less-pressured way, even after you’ve officially met. “Until it’s amazing and great and you’re in a monogamous relationship, if that’s what you want, keep dating other people and don’t put all your focus on that person,” Urasek says. In other words, pump the brakes and be a bit pessimistic (or realistic, if you prefer).


Online dating can be a huge time-suck. If you’re having fun crafting witty messages to strangers, more power to you, but beware: Exchanging messages for weeks before you ever meet up can backfire, since (to the previous point) you could fall head-over-heels before getting together and realizing, womp, you have zero chemistry. Also, hello, you do not have to get back to every weirdo who messages you. “It actually shocks me when people think they have to respond to every message,” Urasek says. But no, you don’t owe anyone a response when you’re dating online. And if you’ve actually met and gone on a date or two, Urasek says letting that person down with a text is totally fine. We’re all busy people, okay?


Even “most popular girl” Urasek says she’s happily single, after all. So if all your swiping and messaging doesn’t end in happily ever after, that’s fine, too. There’s a lot of pressure (societal, parental, social-media-l, you name it) on all of us to be in relationships — followed by pressure to get married, have kids, etc. But Urasek says she wants to send home this simple message: “I want women and girls to know that it’s okay to be single and happy,” she says, “and I think when you’ve found that comfort to be by yourself, that’s when you’re the happiest.” Online dating is always a mixed bag. But hopefully, with a realistic attitude and confidence in being yourself, you’ll have more good days — and dates — than bad.

I’ve been going about this entirely the wrong way.

She’s so nuanced in the dating game that she published a book about the subject: Popular: The Ups and Downs of Online Dating from the Most Popular Girl in New York City

Now let’s wrap this up with another batch of pixxx.

[h/t NY Magazine, Some E-Cards]

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