Science Proves That Your Friend Who Doesn’t Like Hot Sauce Is Less Of A Man Than You

Us manly men men men love our food hot, spicy, and burning the dicks off our mouths. SPICY IS GOOD. But we’ve all got that one friend who, when we go out for wings, is like, “Ugh, please, not too spicy.” And we look to our left and roll our eyes and are like “Dylan, why the fuck did you come to get hot wings with us? You do this every god damn time.” And Dylan’s like, “I like wings, just not like super, super hot.” And you’re like, “Ugh, fuck this, whatever,” then the next day you send an email to everybody but Dylan saying, “Seriously, next time, let’s not tell Dylan. He’s such a bitch.”

But you had no way to scientifically prove to Dylan that he’s a bitch. Until now. A new study confirms that men who don’t like spicy food have less testosterone than men who do. SO HA HA BITCHES. From the Time Magazine:

Men with higher levels of testosterone—the hormone often associated with risk-taking behavior and heightened sex drive in men—tend to love spicy food, according to a French study published in the journal Physiology and Behavior.

I say again, HA HA BITCHES. Fuck you, Dylan.

In the study, titled “Some Like it Hot” and conducted by researchers from the University of Grenoble-Alpes in France, 114 men ages 18 to 44 sat down to a meal of mashed potatoes with spicy pepper sauce and salt. Researchers saw a clear correlation between higher hot sauce usage and higher levels of testosterone levels found in the saliva of the men. In other words, men with greater testosterone levels tended to douse their food with more hot sauce.

Dylan’s such a loser. I cant wait to tell him.

Please Note: Dylan is a real person named Dylan who, although he does like spicy food, once tried to change our order of 30 hot wings to BBQ wings when we weren’t paying attention. That is unforgivable.