Donald Trump Is An Absolute Sex God According To Former Penthouse Pet Sandra Taylor–But You Already Knew That

When was the last time you thought about Donald Trump’s dick? Probably been a while. It’s been at least a few hours for me, since a friend texted me and asked if I’d rather give Donald Trump a handjob or have him take a dump on my chest. My friend is unemployed. But I’d go with the dump for sure, because everyone knows Trump shits hundreds.

Anyhoo, former Penthouse Pet Sandra Taylor, who went on three dates with the Donald decades ago, gave her two cents on Donald’s Dick and his performance in the sheets. Her opinion matched up with actress/ TV personality Marla Maples, who declared Trump the “best sex she’s ever had” after their brief affair in 1990.

When asked if he was a good lover, Taylor told Page Six:

“Omigosh, he was great.” She hopes he is elected. “I think he’d be a terrific president.”

Donald spotted the actress on the cover of New York magazine and had one of his minions track her down. They went on three dates and Taylor describes one of them.

Per Page Six:

After a long, romantic walk on Central Park South, they went to Ray Bari Pizza on Third Avenue. “We ended up in my place on the Upper West Side,” recalls the now-48-year-old Taylor, who will play a sexy mom in the upcoming Garry Marshall comedy “Mother’s Day.” “He was very sweet.”

Here is a little photo album of the chick Donald banged all over the room.



DAMN, DONALD. *tip of the cap*

[h/t Uproxx]

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Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.