Ahh, college. You remember college, right? The loud, thumping, almost deafening music. The sleep deprivation. The stress positions you were kept in for hours, the terrible food you didn’t want to eat but was forced on you. The waterboarding.
Oh, wait. Sorry, I wasn’t thinking about college. I was thinking about CIA black sites. College was fun, but it’s got nothing on a CIA black site. Sure the music was loud, but you could shut it off whenever you wanted. It was hard to sleep, but you could squeeze in a nap. Those chair desk combinations were brutal on your back, but you got to leave after an hour. And while the d-hall food wasn’t great, it wasn’t blended into a paste and squeezed up your ass.
And the waterboarding? Donald Trump’s son said today in an interview that waterboarding was “no different” than what goes on on college campuses and frat houses across the country.
I mean, yea. My Intro to Political Science final was just professor Harrison holding a cloth over my face and pouring a pitcher of water down my throat screaming “WHERE WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW BIN LADEN?”
I failed that exam. Come to think of it, all of us did.