This Drunk Guy Woke Up On A Plane, Urinated On Fellow Passengers And Went Back To Sleep, Is Me Throughout College


Multnomah County Sheriff’s Office

Oh dear. It looks like 27-year-old Jeff Rubin (the gentleman making the oddly satisfied face in the picture above) is pretty much 27-year-old J.Camm. Why is that? Well, he woke up from his drunken slumber on a JetBlue flight from Anchorage, Alaska to Portland, Oregon and began urinating on everything and everyone around him. And while I have never hosed down an entire flight at 35,000 feet, I have done something similar. On, like, several hundred occasions.

According to ABC News:

A drunk passenger on board a JetBlue plane has been arrested upon arrival in the western US state of Oregon after urinating on fellow passengers, authorities say.

“Flight 45 from Anchorage, Alaska, was met by local authorities upon arrival into Portland at 4:26 this morning [Friday local time] following an incident involving an intoxicated customer,” the airline said in a statement.

“Approximately 30 minutes prior to landing he stood up and began urinating through the cracks of the seat onto the passengers seated in front of him,” the police report said.

“At some point Jeff Rubin lost his balance causing him to fall backwards and urinate upwards which got on the passengers and seats next to him as well as some other passenger’s personal belongings.”

Look. No one wants to get pissed on. I know that from experience. For most of my late teens and all of my twenties, my calling card was drunkenly urinating in places that no reasonable person should ever urinate. I wasn’t doing it because I got my rocks off pissing everywhere, I simply could not help it as I only did it while sleep walking. Places I have urinated while sleepwalking include…

– On my best friend’s girlfriend the night of Senior Prom.
– In my parent’s laundry basket.
– Behind my parent’s couch.
– On my parent’s couch.
– On my friend’s couch (twice).
– In a drawer full of clothes while crashing with my sister and her boyfriend.
– In a random girl’s dorm room.
– On an ottoman in my own bedroom
– In my roommate’s garbage can on the first night of college.
– On my roommates rug on the second night of college.
– On a one-night-stand’s bed. (She kicked me out of her apartment at 5am as if I intentionally pissed in her bed. What an unsympathetic bitch.)
– In the hallway of a hotel. (I also got locked out of the room when I did it.)
– In the hallway of my friend’s apartment building. (Locked out that time as well.)
– In a neighbor’s apartment at another friend’s apartment building. (The guy almost murdered me because he found me, a complete stranger, sleeping on his couch in the morning, crazy story.)
– A number of other places I can’t remember.

So yeah, you might say that I can sympathize with this guy.

[H/T Gawker via ABC]