Dude On Meth Surfs On Cars To Avoid Invisible Attackers And It’s Strangely Impressive

Casual Sunday afternoon in Florida. I love how the people driving the car don’t stop or pull over or even bat an eye that they have a shirtless methed-out hooligan surfing on their roof.

Driver: “Do you hear that?”

Passenger: “Ya, it’s just a grown man foaming at the mouth peering through our sunroof.”

Driver: “Oh, must be one of Dale and Linda’s sons.”

Passenger: “No, I think its Dale himself.”

Driver: “Hm! We still getting dinner with them tonight?”

Passenger: “Ya, looks like he wanted to carpool.”

GOD DAMNIT FLORIDA I LOVE YOU. If it weren’t for you I probably wouldn’t have a job. Like in the BroBible interview, my pitch was “ya, I’d say I’m strong in Excel and well-versed in talking about crackheads getting turnt up in Florida. I’m also a good team player.” As long as Florida still exists, I can do this blogging thing until I die. How’s THAT for job security, DAD?!

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.