Cold, Sore Loser Is Suing His Tinder Date For A Fat Stack After She Gave Him Herpes Of The Genital Region

Herpes is the new HIV. If you polled the American population on what STD they are most scared of contracting, I’d bet all the magnum condoms in my top drawer it would be herpes. Charlie Sheen and Magic Johnson have given the general public the perception that HIV can be remedied by rubbing a little dirt on your dick. That may not be the reality, but in this day-in-age, perception trumps. And cold sores are fucking disgusting. Who’s going to want to share a blunt with a dude whose got pussing lip and what chick is going to bang a dude whose dick looks like a pepperoni pizza? Zero. the answer is zero humans.

A Las Vegas man knows the uphill battle he’s facing after he had unprotected with his Tinder date and she gave him the herp.

According to NBC 3 News:

A Las Vegas man was looking for love, but ended with a sexually transmitted disease and now he’s filed a lawsuit.

The man is identified as John Doe in court documents. The woman is a Hollywood producer. The two met on Tinder, an online dating app. He says the two had unprotected sex twice and he contracted genital herpes.

The lawsuit was filed in the Clark County District Court. He wants at least $10,000 for his pain and suffering.

According to the complaint filed in the court, the two had unprotected sex, including once at the Stratosphere Casino & Hotel. He says the woman later admitted she lied about having genital herpes.

The man is seeking $10K for reimbursed lawyer fees, and punitive damages for claims of battery, constructive fraud, fraudulent misrepresentation, wilful misconduct, intentional inflection of emotional distress and gross negligence, according to AU News.

The plot thickens as court documents state that before their sexual encounter, the man asked for a condom and the woman allegedly said she had none and that she was unable to fall pregnant.

Further, she told him that she was disease-free and that she even had her name on a building at a Los Angeles hospital.

You gotta be a special kind of evil to lie this elaborately just to get a little D. Initially, my opinion on the matter was that sex is like international waters–no rules, indulge at your own risk. But, you can’t put up a sign that says “No sharks, I promise” and then leave the dude to get mauled by Great White Cold Sores for the rest of his life.

I’d sue for the death penalty.

[h/t Las Vegas News 3]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.