Bros, I realize posting this is the cockblocking equivalent of being the sober, fat friend pulling her friend out of the bar as you’re trying to spit game. I am not happy about being that friend. My father didn’t raise me to be that friend.
But alas, here I am, giving your girlfriend yet another reason to avoid putting her mouth on your meat popsicle. Might as well report that your love muscle contains gluten or something. I’m taking one giant step backwards for men everywhere. Who have I become? Fucking Judas, that’s who.
Anyway, “””””medical professionals””””” have recently attributed oral sex to be the leading cause of mouth cancer.
New research has revealed that human papilloma virus (HPV) passed through oral sex could could be linked to the rise in the deadly disease.
The eye-opening research has been released to coincide with Mouth Cancer Action Month.
Experts have warned mouth cancer is on the rise and the spread of HPV from oral sex could be the main reason.
HPV affects the skin found in areas of the body exposed to moisture – including the mouth, rectum, cervix and throat.
The highly contagious virus is commonly contracted through unprotected sexual activity.
According to the NHS, over three quarters of sexually active women contract HPV at some time in their lives.
Because the strand of HPV found in the mouth has strong links to sexual activity, experts have warned it is highly likely oral sex could in turn cause mouth cancer.
The quacks conducting the study advise condoms to be worn if one is considering oral sex.
I probably shouldn’t be making a mockery of scientific claims regarding something as heavy as cancer, but this is what men do: deny facts, act like we have answers.