I Bet This Woman Pooped Her Pampers When This Florida Panther Came Charging Straight At Her, I Know I Would’ve

by 3 years ago
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It’s been a big week for panthers in Florida (and the Florida Panthers). Just yesterday a Florida panther was photographed sitting on some person’s porch in East Fort Myers (Lee County). That picture was sent to the FWC Fish and Wildlife Research Institute who then shared it on their Facebook page, and over the past day the photo of that Florida panther’s gone all sorts of viral down here in the Sunshine State.

That pic is awesome, and you can see it below, but that picture’s got NOTHING on the video that Tina Dorschel shared showing a Florida Panther charging her on the nature walk at the Corkscrew Swamp Sanctuary, a nature preserve just north of Naples. The panther charges her, which if I were in her position I’d have been crapping my pants (since this is Florida I’ll assume the person filming is elderly and they soiled their Pampers), but at the last moment, just when she thinks the panther’s going to take her down everything changes:

Seriously, I’d actually have shit myself….This is 100% WTFlorida. That panther could’ve leapt at her and tore through her jugular vein in a less than a second, she’d have bled out quicker than the time it takes me to say ‘Welcome to Florida! Would you prefer meth or bath salts?’ I hope she’s thanking her lucky stars and stripes to be alive after that encounter. And I’ve actually been to this spot before, the Corkscrew Swamp Sanctuary, back in the day on a Boy Scouts outing. This video kind of makes me want to get down there again and see how wild things have gotten.

Now I mentioned the photo of the Florida Panther chilling on some person’s porch, here’s that:

Like I said before, it’s been a big week for the Florida Panther, and the Florida Panthers who thankfully are shitting the bed and allowed my Tampa Bay Lightning to creep back into a first place seed in the East. Next stop? Stanley Cup Finals in back-to-back years. #GoBolts

[h/t on the video to my fellow BroBible editor @davidcovucci]


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