REJOICE! You May Soon Be Able To Get Drunk At A Bar Inside Target

Target is the devil. I go in there with honest intentions to buy a 24-pack of Poland Spring water, a bag of Snyder’s of Hanover Hot Buffalo Wing Pretzel Pieces, Old Spice Denali deodorant and that scrubbing bubbles bathroom cleaner. Fast forward two hours later I purchased a 24-pack of Poland Spring water, a bag of Snyder’s of Hanover Hot Buffalo Wing Pretzel Pieces, Old Spice Denali deodorant, that scrubbing bubbles bathroom cleaner, the gigantic container of Archer Farms Monster Trail Mix, printer paper, an Xbox One game, a belt, cilantro salsa, sweet potato tortilla chips, AA batteries, Ben & Jerry’s Speculoos Cookie Butter Core, a NERF gun, five t-shirts, strawberries, a huge bag of Peanut M&M’s, a toilet scrubber, Kashi Chocolate Almond & Sea Salt with Chia Granola Bars, a birthday card for my mom, two Healthy Choice Café Steamers frozen dinners and an accent table. What can I say, I’m just a weak individual with no buyer’s remorse that gives into every single consumer urge. But thank my lucky stars that I’m never drunk when I go shopping at Target because that could be dangerous. What’s that? Target is going to start selling liquor at their stores? Fuck me.

A Target store in Chicago could be the company’s first to offer alcohol. And not just packaged alcohol, they may open a motherfucking bar inside their store.

Target, which is the second largest general merchandise retailer in America, applied for two alcohol licenses in Chicago, one that would allow them to sell packaged liquor, and the second that would allow the company to serve beer, wine and spirits right in the store.

Target has not announced on whether the licenses will lead to a full bar, or if the in-store alcohol concept will expand to other Target stores.

Many believe that Target will open their own restaurant inside the store, which will also offer liquor. It will be much like the Whole Foods Market in Pasadena, California that serves alcohol at the in-store restaurant.

What a genius move by Target right here. You are way more likely to buy unnecessary shit after a few rum & Coke’s. I surmise that Target’s frozen taquitos sales are going to go through the goddamn roof.

Your move Walmart.

[Uproxx]