Girl Who Hadn’t Been Asked To Prom Brings Life-size Cardboard Cutout Of Bernie Sanders FOR THE WIN!

Prom is the most overrated night of high school. It’s like the New Year’s Eve of adolescence. The reality rarely meets the expectation. Unless you go with your girlfriend, you’re probably not getting laid like the movies promise, and instead you have to hear your date bitch about how much her feet hurt and how you forgot to get her a corsage. SORRY, CHRISTINA I WAS LOW ON CASH FUCK!

Like most things in life, its important to manage expectations. And if you’re bringing a cardboard cutout as your prom date, you’ve already conceded in bypassing the immense pressures of prom night, allowing you to spend your night on your own terms. The right way. And since you are not anchored to a human date, it allows you to play free safety–making strides with your crush who already committed to someone else. You could also probably squeeze two meals out of the deal too.

And as prom was fast approaching and Chloe Raynaud hadn’t yet been asked to prom, she decided to take a cutout of 74-year-old Bernie Sanders.

Bernie looks fresh as fuck.

The customary group shot….

Chloe worshipping her date while Bernie checks out some other tail outside the prom. Bernie, you old dog you.

“During the slow dance I brought him out to dance with him and everyone started laughing,” Chloe said. “Then my friends made him crowd surf.”

From Chloe’s ear-to-ear smile, it looks as if Bernie was a gentleman and stayed erect all night. Not bad for a 74-year-old.

https://twitter.com/chlooraynaud/status/726966169303797760

[h/t Some Ecards]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.