Totally Not Racist Girl Breaks Down The Age-Old Question ‘Is Slavery Always Bad?’ In A Class Presentation

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I’m not very nuanced in the Slave Debate conversation, but if you’re absolutely positively gotta do cost/benefit analysis on whether or not to categorize human beings as property, you may want to add just one more bullet point to the Con section. Ya know, just to let your peers know that the century-long institution of ripping an entire people from their families, demolishing their individual identities, working them like dogs, raping their women, and publicly whipping/hanging them for the smallest disobedience maybe didn’t have a comparable upside.

My favorite pro: “Not all slaves are treated with neglect.”

Oh ok nice, there was that one dude who given the option of shitting in an actual toilet that time for working 17 straight hours picking cotton in the blistering sun. Like a toilet that real people use. #HighLife.

It’s unclear what this chick got for a grade on the presentation, but I’d venture to guess that she was gifted with an A for Absolutely Racist.

But now that we got the debate juices flowing, I took the liberty of tackling another wrongly stigmatized epidemic.

aids

Matt Keohan


[h/t Barstool]

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Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.