Girlfriend Tosses All Her Boyfriend’s Apple Products Into The Tub When She Discovers He’s Been One Bad Apple

After a Japanese chick found out her boyfriend was two-timing her, she gathered his excessively large collection of Apple products and tossed them in a bathtub (complete with soap suds!) But the jilted lover wasn’t satisfied with just inflicting thousands of dollars of damage. She then took to twitter to publicly shame her unfaithful beau, amassing over 15,000 retweet and 10,000 favorites.

Babe, I understand you’re drowning in a bathtub of misery right now but if you couldn’t decipher that your boy was screwing someone else when he boy bought his third iPhone, then your negligence is as good as guilty. The number of phones a dude owns is positively correlated to the number of chicks he’s fucking behind your back. It’s bro science. And unfortunately, it looks like your boy was neck deep in strange vagina considering he bought the whole fifth floor of the Mac Store. And not to kick you while you’re down, but I also wouldn’t rule out a porn addiction as well. I’m a sexual deviant and opening multiple tabs on Internet Explorer on my one computer when I’m preparing for a beat session satiates my craving, but it looks as if your ex preferred a next-level multi-media experience–watching Lisa Ann getting plowed on multiple monitors like he’s in the production control room for the Navy. Wouldn’t surprise me if he was wearing 3D glasses and listening to Lisa Ann climax on Sonos surround sound while choking himself out with a pair of his side-piece’s panties. It may not seem like it now, but this is the best-case scenario for both of you: you’re no longer attached to a cheating scumbag, and your boy was thinking of switching to Android anyway.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.