Guy Thinks He Might Get Laid After Finding An Old Friend On Facebook, Ends Up In A Total Nightmare

So this guy, RA_MellyGibsons on Reddit, ran into an old female friend from elementary school on Facebook, nothing out of the ordinary there, right? And it all started out pretty typical, catching up, talking about life, then things started to get weird. Like REALLY weird. Like stalker, might be time to move to a new town weird.

Here’s his story…

It started three days ago, when I received a message on Facebook from said girl. It was a pretty casual conversation that lead to the exchange of numbers. She was mentioning that she still had an art project from kindergarten that had a picture of us both on the cover. A little strange, but hey no big deal. (We are both 23 now.)

The following day it was more small talk about life and what different things we have going on in our lives. She asked if I was into the tv show OITNB and I said yes. She was really into the show and invited me over to watch the old episodes before the new season came out. She told me to stay the night also, which to me meant having a little fun. (Sounds good right?)

So far so good. Bro thinks he might be in for a little action in the sack. Nothing wrong with that. But…

She continued to text me about coming over to watch the show and after I didn’t respond for 2 whole minutes, she said “fine I guess you don’t want to come over, you took too long to respond.” At this point I can sense a little bit of crazy, but it might still be a fun night. She mentioned that she didn’t want her personal life on blast so to not tell anyone about what we were going to be doing. After a goodnight text, she continued to send 6 more messages before she stopped texting. (Things are getting strange but at the end of the day a little fornication would be nice.)

I like how he’s still holding out hope for sex despite the obvious red flags. Way to hang tough, tiger.

Yesterday morning I get a message from her saying she really really likes me and has ever since kindergarten, so I better not break her heart. I thought to myself, I barely know this girl and she is already talking like this. Huge red flag for me. I decided I am not going to hang out with her. She continues to flood messages in with no response from me. One of the next messages states, “No pressure or anything, but I would fucking hate you if you took my virginity and left me like a fucking dog. Maybe you’re not ready for this.” At this point I am so glad she doesn’t know where I live.

Now we’re starting to veer into serious Fatal Attraction territory. Hope he doesn’t own any pets.

The waves of messages keep coming in with no response from me. She says she has a present for me. She went to Walgreens and made a copy of the picture of us from kindergarten. She is now talking about horoscope compatibility. 9 hours into the day I still have not responded, she then tells me she is going to call me right at 7pm. I of course, do not answer. At first it was kind of funny seeing how strange this girl was, but now I’m actually creeped out.

As you should be. Also, time to start considering filling out a restraining order request.

She has sent approximately 60 text messages yesterday with no response. She resorted to Facebook messages and called me a coward. The messages have stopped as of midnight. I am scared to even look at my phone anymore. I have not seen this girl since I was in kindergarten. A stage 5 clinger is nothing to mess with.

TLDR; Became friendly with elementary school friend, she proceeds to text me 60+ times in a day talking about how I should take her virginity and be with her.

Edit: 11:37am She started texting me again this morning. 13 text messages in 8 minutes.

Edit 2: So it continues.

Edit 3: About 40 messages deep so far today.

Edit 4: she sent about 20 messages while I was sleeping and about 20 more since 8am. Advice from others was to tell her to stop contacting me in case it goes any further and I need to go to the police. I sent the message and now I am awaiting the onslaught from her. Wish me luck.

Edit 5: I told her “Seriously, leave me alone. Do not ever contact me again or I will go to the police.” She said, “Okay no problem. Done, I will never contact you again.” I figured she would flip out like she already has. I guess we will see if she actually stops or not.

Is there a level higher than Stage 5 for a clinger? Because I think this woman just established a new high water mark. Damn.


Scary woman image by Shutterstock

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Before settling down at BroBible, Douglas Charles, a graduate of the University of Iowa (Go Hawks), owned and operated a wide assortment of websites. He is also one of the few White Sox fans out there and thinks Michael Jordan is, hands down, the GOAT.