By most accounts, the hippopotamus is the deadliest animal on the continent of Africa. Why? Well, it’s not the largest animal nor does it have venom like countless species from Egypt to Botswana, but unlike most of the species in the Animal Kingdom the hippo has ZERO CHILL. They’re always angry, ready to fuck your day up, and charge humans for shits and giggles.
Case in point is this crazy ass hippo above who was filmed (and attacked) by a 26-year-old welding inspector named Wikus Ceronie. And is it just me or does that name sound like it’s ripped straight out of Harry Potter? Anyways, the 26-year-old dude was working in Mozambique and crossing the bridge/border back into the Kruger National Park in South Africa when he spotted a hippo acting like a fool. Instead of waiting for that hippo to go on about his hippo business he tried to drive past the enormous animal, a decision which ultimately proved to be a terrible mistake as his truck was borderline totaled by the pissed off hippopotamus.
When asked by reporters why he chose to drive past the hippo instead of waiting for things to settle the hippo attack victim chose to quote Benny ‘The Jet’ Rodriguez from The Sandlot and responded with “Anyone who wants to be a can’t-hack-it pantywaist who wears their mama’s bra, raise your hand.”….Actually, none of that happened at all but I’ve been watching The Sandlot on MTV for the past few hours and have that quote stuck in my head now.
After being attacked by the hippo and having his truck demolished, Wikus Ceronie submitted his dashboard camera footage to ‘Kruger Sightings‘, a YouTube channel dedicated to the most insane animal footage captured within South Africa’s infamous Kruger National Park.
Now, apropos of nothing, here’s the Hiphopopotamus vs. Rhymenoceros rap battle from Flight of the Conchords S01E03:
Another interesting fact about hippos is when they become agitated their sweat turns red, similar to blood, and it makes them even more terrifying. You can learn that and more by watching this quick YouTube video from ‘How Stuff Works’ on bizarre facts about hippos.
[h/t Kruger Sightings]