New Study Reveals Just How Fat The Joints American Roll Are

Spoiler: Not fucking fat at all.

Turns out, we’re skimpy as all hell when rolling joints.

A professor at the University of Pennsylvania, alongside a director at the RAND Drug Policy Research Center, took a look at federal weed arrest data over the two different spans, from 2000-2003 and 2007-2010, to determine just how big the bones America roasts really were.

What did they find? They found Americans are rolling some paper clip thin doobies.

The average amount of weed per joint? A paltry 0.32 grams. That’s eight joints in an eighth, which isn’t getting anyone fucking high.

From The New York Times:

Their estimate is based on marijuana purchase data collected from interviews with people who were arrested from 2000 to 2003 and from 2007 to 2010 under a Department of Justice program. While the answers came in many forms, Dr. Ridgeway and Dr. Kilmer focused on the more than 10,000 responses in which marijuana was measured in grams, ounces or joints.

The average price per gram, they found, was $6.81; the average joint was $3.50.

Although dividing the joint price by the gram price yields a rough estimate of a joint’s weight — about half a gram — it ignores how prices vary by location, time and quantity.

To account for those variations, the researchers applied a mathematical drug pricing model to the data, yielding their answer of 0.32 grams in the average joint.

Dr. Kilmer and Dr. Ridgeway acknowledge that their estimate is imperfect. It reflects just one population of marijuana consumer — people who have been arrested — and only in a smattering of counties across the United States.

But it is a convincing measurement nonetheless. Indeed, in 2015 a global drug survey conducted by academics found that most users get about three joints from a single gram of marijuana, or roughly 0.33 grams per joint.

Man, fuck the world. That is some weak ass spliffage.

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[H/T @scottipippen]