‘This Shit Could Destroy ISIS:’ Instagram Account Dedicated To Texts From Drug Dealers Is Outstanding

I smoke weed, and if clicking on this post is any indication, you do too. Welcome fellow stoner bro. Us tokers know that we are only as good as the drug dealers we buy from. That is a sad, sad reality to come to terms with but without those unreliable bastards, we’d probably resort to huffing glue or even worse, staying sober. We should probably send our drug dealers Christmas cards this year or something. If you’re not sure of their address, it’s the same house they lived in growing up, I promise. They’ve just pimped out the basement.

Drug dealing is a thankless job. This Instagram account Shotta Text LDN was created solely to shed light on the entrepreneurship that goes into selling illegal drugs to mouth breathers like you and I. I hope you can resonate with these as much as I can.

This dude is a fucking poet.

Peter Pan and Isis together at last 😎

A photo posted by Shotta Texts LDN (@shotta_texts_ldn) on

Here we have more than just a drug dealer, we have a life coach.

Never

A photo posted by Shotta Texts LDN (@shotta_texts_ldn) on

Dude couldn’t pass Algebra, but he can create an entirely new language.

👀

A photo posted by Shotta Texts LDN (@shotta_texts_ldn) on

*Flowers. I said flowers.

Green fingers 💐🌺🌸🌼🌷

A photo posted by Shotta Texts LDN (@shotta_texts_ldn) on

The Jekyll and Hyde drug dealers are the WORST.

Fuck off. 😐

A photo posted by Shotta Texts LDN (@shotta_texts_ldn) on

Yo, hit ’em with the remix

☔️

A photo posted by Shotta Texts LDN (@shotta_texts_ldn) on


Drug dealers need love too.

Didant

A photo posted by Shotta Texts LDN (@shotta_texts_ldn) on

Entrepreneurship

CHIZEL LOTTO!!! 🎰🎲🃏#ItCouldBeYou

A photo posted by Shotta Texts LDN (@shotta_texts_ldn) on

Free gum.

"Free pack of gum" 🇨🇴

A photo posted by Shotta Texts LDN (@shotta_texts_ldn) on

Goddamn Edgar Allen Pot. This is top-notch alliteration.

Top 5 😂😂😂

A photo posted by Shotta Texts LDN (@shotta_texts_ldn) on

Check out more drug dealer exchanges on Instagram here. And now that we’re on the drug beat, peep my piece profiling the 6 types of drug dealers that lurk in every town in America. I am not above some shameless self-promotion.

[h/t LADbible]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.
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